


Eddie Kaspbrak is a Crazy Clown Killer And Needs To Be Stopped

by The_Optimist



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: :), Adult Losers Club (IT), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak-centric, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, F/M, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Graphic Description, IT Chapter Two Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentioned Sonia Kaspbrak, Movie: IT Chapter Two (2019), Permanent Injury, Pillow & Blanket Forts, References to Depression, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sad Richie Tozier, Spoilers, Stanley Uris Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Optimist/pseuds/The_Optimist
Summary: Eddie had spent his whole life terrified. The world held so many things to be scared of, and sometimes he considered himself one of them. The possibilities only get larger after he receives a phone call from an old friend, in his forgotten home town of Derry, Maine.Suddenly, like two different people collided to make one, broken, person, Eddie is faced with all of his biggest fears, from his childhood, and from the adult life he lived after. He's still terrified.But fear gives things power, and who's to say it can't give Eddie some power too?~Very loosely based off of an idea given to me by a friend: in the pharmacy basement, Eddie kills the Leper. This is a series events from that moment, and how large the impact little changes can be. Typical warnings for It, if you've seen the movie you should be able to handle this, but please take caution as there are some graphic scenes and, at times, dark thoughts.I edited the description to hopefully better fit the story.





	1. Eddie Kills The Clown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BookRockShooter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookRockShooter/gifts).

> Nothing too graphic in this chapter, but see end notes for warnings. Please check the tags also (ik there are a lot) just in case.
> 
> Edit: please check out the playlist I listened to when writing this, it helps: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/457y2N54MfLU0NlLAegMp2?si=hho3aiV9RKWhSki2tv3YCw
> 
> Please shout at me on tumblr, my main is @striffyisme, and my Reddie writings is @andaleeeduardo.

He was scared, that much was certain. Eddie found himself wandering down the stairs and into the basement of the pharmacy, a place he had only ever been once before. Every little sound had him on edge, jumpy and ready to flee, but he knew he had something to find, first. He didn't have time to be a coward.

The curtain, the same one from all those years ago, was still there, and he felt dread in his gut at seeing it. He moved forward slowly, fear making him feel like he was moving through treacle. He accidentally kicks something soft, and he jumps, spinning round and crashing into something else. There's medical equipment everywhere, and he's tripping over himself to get away.

When he finally finds himself no longer knocking things over, he is stood in front of the curtain. The faded green of it, a shade that reminds him distinctly of vomit, seems to mock him.

He thinks back on when he was last here, as a child, how he had come down the stairs thinking he had heard his mother's voice. How scared he had been, as he approached her silhouette. He had tried so hard to free her, as the Leper moved closer and closer, shrieking, hands outstretched. How it had gotten too close, how his mother had demanded he stay, sacrifice himself for her. How he had turned tail and fled, feeling guilt, relief and fear all rolled into one.

Eddie rips back the curtain in one move, expecting to see a scene of equal horror, but there's nothing there. Old store items are scattered and unorganized, just like the rest of the basement. He sighs in relief, turning around, and then thinks _oh. Shit._

It's a bit of a blur, his fight with the Leper, this time. He knows that he's bigger now, but he's just afraid as he was then, and that seems to be all the Leper needs to get the upper hand. The fight isn't going well at all, and he fears this might be the last thing he sees, this ugly Leper, until Eddie manages to get it up against the wall, and gets his hands on it's face.

Eddie pushes, hard, and the Leper screeches, trying to break free. He digs his thumb into it's eye until it pops, shooting pus and blood onto his face. The sound of fear, fear from the thing he, himself, is afraid of, the thing now suddenly afraid of him, sends his mind reeling.

There's terror clogging his throat and tears building in his eyes, but something primal in his brain is telling him he's winning. Eddie has the Leper's face tight in his hands, squeezing, and _oh it's gross_ but he's winning.

He moves his grip down, hanging on for dear life to the front of the Leper's throat, shaking with adrenaline. And yet, his hands hold firm. For a second he forgets this is Pennywise, the fucking clown they've been fighting since they were children. To him, in this moment, all it seems to be is what it is. It's a Leper, and the thing about Lepers is, Eddie thinks, that they may be full of disease, but that makes them weak.

He tightens his grip till his knuckles are white, till his own hands are hurting in their hold against its neck. The Leper tries to gasp but nothing happens, its airway closed by force, and it begins to scratch at his hands.

He refuses to let go even still, pushing closer and forcing the Leper higher up the wall. The Leper opens its mouth, and he hears a gurgling noise. He ducks his head, closing his eyes, and suddenly there is black sludge covering him. Even then he doesn't let go, fear locking him in place. He can barely think, his blood singing to only one tune: survive. He pushes and pushes, the esophagus under his hands beginning to collapse, until finally, finally, the creature stills.

He looks up, vomit dripping onto his face from his hair, and stares at the Leper. Its face has gone slack, and it is only still standing because Eddie is holding it up. He waits a few more seconds, brain fried from overstimulation, before he lets his arms go lax. They ache from the effort, but the Leper slumps to the floor, a sign of his victory.

He stand there, over It, and watches as it slowly turns to ash, floating into the air around him.

He is shaken from his reprieve by what feels like an earthquake, the ground shaking beneath his feet. His first thought is that Derry doesn't get earthquakes, certainly not of this magnitude. His second thought is _'oh. I didn't just kill the Leper. I won,'_ before he blinks, and finds himself on the floor.

Eddie leans against the wall, head tilted back to look up at the ceiling, and breathes. He lets time pass around him, his chest full of a feeling he thinks might be relief, but he's never felt it with such intensity before. He looks down at his hands, splattered with sludge, and is in awe of what he has done.

He finally realises that he has to tell the others, and without thinking of his phone, runs upstairs and out the store. Greta is still there, but he barely takes note of her. She tells him the door is a push, not a pull, and he thanks her more out of instinct, and his emotional high, than out of gratitude.

He runs most of the way back to the hotel, stopping occasionally to check when crossing the road, or to catch his breath, but he still makes it across town in record time. It's only as he opens the door and steps onto the clean carpet that he realises he's still covered in vomit, and decides, _actually I would really like to be clean for this conversation._

"What happened to you?" Greets him in the form of Bev and Ben, stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking at him with worry.

Eddie grins as he moves past them, "I'll tell you later. Tell the others we're going to Mike's, and tell them we'll join them there!"

He doesn't wait for a response, not sure he even would have even gotten one, and instead goes into his room, first on the right, and, from there, into the bathroom.

He kicks off his shoes, leaving them on the cold tiles, and goes to the sink to wash his hands. He opens the window to let in the warm July breeze, hoping to freshen out the room. He then grabs some fresh clothes to change into, before proceeding to use a mixture of wet wipes and the bathroom sink to clean himself up. He doesn't have time for a shower, so this will have to do, he thinks.

He then throws his dirty clothes with his shoes, and retreats to his bedroom to get changed. He then returns to the bathroom to wash his face and hands once again, as they still feel slightly sticky.

With a sigh, he looks up at himself in the mirror, only to find himself still smiling. He closes the mirror cabinet that had held the wet wipes, and suddenly his smile is gone.

"It was supposed to be your time, Eddie!"

_Henry Bowers is stood in my bathroom._ He doesn't dare take his eyes off the figure even for a second, but he knows he has to move, he can't leave his back to Bowers for long.

Suddenly Bowers is approaching him, and Eddie goes to duck out the way, but he's too slow. _Oh fuck, there's a knife in my face_, he realises, a bit belatedly.

He turns to face Bowers, looking for more weapons, but can't see anything. 

Fear grips him again, tight enough that it's almost painful around his chest. "Why?" He tries to ask around the knife in his mouth. "Why did you do that?!"

Bowers starts to laugh, hysterical, pointing at his face like it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. "He said it was your time, Eddie!"

Eddie backs up a bit, towards the bath, shock still filling his system, and it's making him seriously confused as to what is happening. "Who said it was my time?" It comes out sounding muffled, as he doesn't dare move his tongue or his cheek.

Even breathing is painful, and he can feel the blade with the top of his tongue. Blood is beginning to trickle into his mouth, as it runs fast down the side of his face.

Bowers stops laughing, face going serious in a second. "Oh, you know." He starts to approach again, and Eddie continues to back away. "You know," he says, starting to laugh again. "Time to float!" He laughs louder, and Eddie starts to join in, nervous, as he steps backwards into the bath, trying not to slip on his own blood.

He peeks around the curtain, as he carefully closes it, double checking Bowers doesn't have another weapon in hand.

His hands have stopped shaking again, just like when he was facing the Leper, but the rest of him still is. He takes as deep a breath as he can manage, and he reaches up and places his hand around the hilt of the knife. He closes his eyes, pain shooting through his face, and takes a deep breath.

In one go, he pulls the knife from his face, careful not to voice his pain, even though he can barely feel anything but. He watches the shadow of Bowers through the shower curtain as he gets closer.

"Where'd he go?" Bowers asks, sounding genuinely confused. There's a second of silence before Bowers, now angry, begins to shout. "Now give me back my fucking knife-"

Eddie does just that, stabbing through the curtain and in the general direction of where he thinks Bowers' body is. There's a sick squelching noise as the knife hits true, and suddenly the curtain is being torn down, ring by ring.

When it finally falls, Eddie can see Bowers stood there, arms hanging limp by his sides, knife sticking out his chest. Eddie wants to vomit, but his main goal at the moment is getting out of here, before he can get stabbed again.

Whole body quivering, Eddie steps out the bath, once again trying not to slip in his own blood, and presses himself against the wall. Terror runs cold through his body, and it takes every ounce of his willpower to even try and escape. Bowers stands there, barely even breathing, in the middle of the room, knife in his chest and perfectly silent.

Eddie is too scared to even jump when the towel rail clatters to the floor behind him, but it kick-starts his brain, and he speaks before he's even aware he wants to.

"Should cut that mullet, it's been like thirty fucking years, man."

He quickly leaves the bathroom, stumbling through his bedroom as quickly as he can, which isn't all that fast. His breathing is harsh, but he manages to shout, "guys!" Terror is ringing through his voice, but he makes his way into the hallway at the top of the stairs, before collapsing to the ground.

Bev is there, unexpectedly fast, kneeling by his side, and he looks up between her and Ben, still stood. He's not really sure what's happening, or how fast time is moving, but everything feels off, somehow. "Bowers is in my room," he tries to say, but blood is pouring out his mouth, and fear is warping his voice, and it doesnt sound quite right. Beverley gets to her feet, rushing into his room, leaving Ben to take her place at his side. He looks conflicted, like he wants to go after her, but he also doesn't want to leave Eddie alone.

Eddie reaches out, fear still the main factor in his decisions, and grabs Ben by the arm, holding on almost as tightly as he had almost an hour ago, when he killed the Leper. When he killed Pennywise. Ben settles, like his decision has been made.

"Where's Richie?" He asks, and Ben pauses, before swearing.

"I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!" He warns, racing off to the next room over. He disappears behind the door, and Eddie is alone again. He thinks to himself, that he hadn't even known Richie was supposed to be here, and wonders where he might be if he's not here. Would he have left without saying goodbye?

He tilts his head back, leaning against the wall, but quickly regrets his decision when hot blood starts to pour down his throat. He coughs, blood splattering over his hands, and he thinks to himself, I just changed my shirt. The door to his right opens, and Bev is by his side again.

She puts a hand on his shoulder. "Bowers went out the window, and it looks like Richie's car is gone too. Where's Ben?"

Eddie points down the hall, where Ben can be heard, faintly shouting Richie's name. "Richie's gone," he explains, more blood pouring from his mouth, causing Bev to flinch.

"Ben!" She shouts over her shoulder, and there's a few seconds of silence before Ben reappears in the doorway, anxiety painted clear across his face.

"Bev?!" He shouts, before realising she's already there, waiting. He glances back over his shoulder as if he's expecting Richie to show up whilst he's not looking.

"Richie's already gone," Bev tells him, and he sighs. "Bowers is leaving too. Come over here and help me with Eddie." There is a look shared between them that Eddie can't translate, but he thinks it can probably wait.

Ben makes his way over to his friends, crouching on Eddie's other side. "What did he do to you?" He asks, touching the side of Eddie's face, just below his temple.

Eddie gives a small shrug, still carefully trying not to move his face too much. "Got stabbed," he slurs, pointing at his check, which pulses with blood.

Ben looks over Eddie's face, before looking up at Bev. "Would you get me my first aid kit please? It's on my bed." Bev nods, heading off, and Ben pulls Eddie's arm over his shoulder. Eddie almost tells him to take them to his bathroom, but remembers that his Leper covered clothes are still there, and so doesn't protest when Ben takes them into Richie's room instead.

Eddie gets put down on the closed toilet lid, and Bev enters the bathroom carrying Ben's first aid kit. He directs her to get some dark coloured towels. As she leaves the room he heads to the sink, washing his hands thoroughly, turning back to look at Eddie from his place across the room. "How the tables turn, huh?" He asks, before coming over to stand in front of Eddie.

It takes a second, but Eddie realises he's talking about how they first met. That was back when Eddie had treated the wound in Ben's stomach, from where Bowers had cut him with the same knife he had stabbed Eddie with not ten minutes ago. He smiles, before remembering it hurts, but Ben still smiles back.

"I've still got the scar, actually," he says, pulling up his shirt to show a faded and warped scar that might once have been an 'H'. Eddie, thoughts still racing, reaches out to touch it. He traces the scar softly, before realising what he's doing and jumps back, face red with more than just fast flowing blood. Ben smiles at him softly, reaching out to take Eddie's hand and squeezing it. Eddie's embarrassment fades slightly, in the warmth of his friend's support.

"I don't have anywhere to sit, so this is going to be a bit of an awkward angle," Ben says, leaning in close to have a look at the wound on Eddie's face. He is reaching into his first aid kit, brining out a pair of gloves, when Bev returns, a handful of navy towels and a small stool with her.

"I thought you might need this," she says, placing the stool in front of the toilet Eddie is sat on. She turns and hands the towels to Ben, who places one across Eddie's shoulder, ready to wipe away the blood. She takes a seat on the edge of the bath, hands wringing together, visibly nervous.

Ben turns his 100-watt smile on Bev, and she blushes too. Eddie feels a little better about being flustered, knowing he isn't the only one. "Thank you Bev," he says, before sitting in front of Eddie, their knees brushing through their jeans.

"This is going to hurt a bit," Ben says, not giving Eddie time to respond before he's bringing the towel up and putting it to the hole in Eddie's cheek. Eddie hisses in pain, but doesn't pull away, even as blood is forced out the wound and into his mouth. Eddie gags slightly, before forcing the blood over his lips in an attempt not to swallow it.

Ben gently wipes Eddie's chin, giving him another smile when their eyes meet. "Never actually given someone else stitches before, but it can't be that hard, right?"

Eddie almost groans in despair, only restraining because of the towel covering half his face. "That doesn't fill me with confidence, Ben," he tries to say instead, but it comes out so muffled that it stops sounding like english.

Ben laughs anyway, probably guessing his meaning, or close enough. "Sorry Eddie, what was that?" Eddie doesn't bother responding, only rolling his eyes, but has to fight back a smile when he sees Bev laughing too.

Ben moves the towel back to Eddie's shoulder, pulling on his gloves that he had laid out on his knee, and then pulls out the disinfectant. Many years of being coddled have left Eddie with a surprisingly high tolerance for pain, simply because every little cut or scrape got disinfected, and Eddie is very familiar with how that shit stings.

Ben cleans up his face, trying to work quickly so he doesn't get blood everywhere again. When he's done, he removes the needle and thread from their sterile packaging, threading the needle pretty quickly for someone with hands as big as Ben's. It makes Eddie think he might have practise, but he doesn't want to question it when Ben is about to stitch his face back together.

Bev gets up and walks over to take a closer look. She takes Eddie's hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze, and a small smile. "We don't have anything strong enough to numb your face," she says, regretfully. Eddie tightens his grip on her hand in reply. Bev has a look through the first aid kit, and gives Eddie the strongest pain medication they have, which he stares at dumbly for a few seconds. He sighs, and puts it in his mouth, wincing as he uses his own blood to wash it down.

"You ready?" Ben asks, and Eddie nods glumly. Ben cradles Eddie's face in one hand, gently pinching the skin together, and Eddie tries not to flinch away. The needle enters his skin, and his knuckles go white around Bev's hand. Even though she must be in pain, she rubs the back of his hand with her thumb soothingly, and he loosens his grip slightly.

Ben works in silence, moving quickly and smoothly as he stitches up Eddie's face, the gentle snip of scissors sounding close enough to his ear to raise the hairs on the back of his neck. Ben is leaning in so close that Eddie starts counting his freckles to distract himself.

After almost twenty minutes, he leans back, loose thread and needle in one hand, and scissors in the other. There's a bead of sweat on his forehead, but he looks satisfied with his work.

"There we go! A bit messy to look at, but it's all straight, and saves you a trip to the hospital. Only needed four stitches," he says as he puts down his equipment, and then takes out the gauze. He tapes up Eddie's face, once again silent in concentration, and then takes off his gloves, getting up to wash his hands.

Bev takes Ben's seat, smiling at Eddie. "Thanks, Ben," Eddie says, face still sore, but finally able to smile for more than a few seconds at a time. He gives both his friends the biggest smile he can manage, and gets even bigger ones in return.

When they're all cleaned up, they pack up their things, whilst Eddie changes his clothes again, before meeting up in the lobby. "We need to go find the others," Ben says, right before the door bursts open to reveal Stan, out of breath and with an old shower cap on his head.

There's a few seconds where the only sound is Stan's heavy breathing, and the door slamming shut behind him, before Bev bursts into unrestrained laughter, having to grip Ben and Eddie's shoulders to stay upright. Soon all four of them are laughing, and it's a while before they manage to calm down enough to speak.

"What happened to you?" Stan says as he wipes a tear from his face, giving Eddie a once-over.

"Ah," Eddie says, face sorer than before, but thinking it might have been worth it to see Stan smile again. "Bowers stabbed me." Stan looks horrified, eyes going wide, and it's enough to send Bev back into peals of laughter, forcing her to sit down on the stairs to attempt to calm down.

"What happened to you?" Ben says, smiling wide, as he points at the shower cap on Stan's head. Stan, seemingly just having remembered it's existence, quickly takes it off, stuffing it into his pocket.

"I found my memory thing." He pauses, thinking, and then speaks again, "did you guys feel that earthquake? I thought you didn't get earthquakes in Derry?"

Ben's smile fades back into seriousness, and Bev rejoins them. "Yeah, we did. You, Eddie?"

Eddie nods, "yeah, I think that was my fault. Sorry to worry you," he says, noticabley calmer than the others. They all turn to face him, curious, and he smirks at them.

"How'd you cause an earthquake?" Bev asks, and Eddie is pleased to find that it sounds like she believes him.

"That's what I was going to tell you earlier, before I got stabbed in the face," he takes out his phone when it vibrates with a new notification, and finds a missed call from Richie. He promises himself that he'll check it later. "I wanted to tell you all together, but with Richie gone, and no clue where Bill is, I might as well tell you now."

The others gather round, and he takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous. "I... I think I killed Pennywise?"

"What?!" Ben and Bev near shout, but Stan remains silent, eyes still wide as saucers and something indescribable in his expression.

"How?" He asks, and Eddie explains; how he had choked the life out of the Leper, how he had accidentally managed to convince himself that Pennywise was as weak as the Leper was, and then how it suddenly was dead.

There's a shocked silence that Eddie dare not break, as he watches them cycle through the emotions he himself must have at the time. Finally, Bev speaks up, defacto leader when Bill isn't there.

"We need to find the others! If this is true, then that means we don't have to fight Pennywise, and our only problem then is Bowers!" This gets her three nods from the others, and she smiles, turning to Ben. "You rented a truck, right? Think it'll fit all of us?"

Ben smiles back, leaning into her space slightly, and Eddie remembers something similar from their childhood. He's beginning to think that maybe he wasn't the only one with a crush on one of their friends when they were kids.

"Should do, if someone doesn't mind riding in the bed," he says, and she grins.

"Right," Bev turns her gaze on Stan, pointing up the stairs behind her, "get anything you might need to fight Bowers, and bring the shower cap just incase." She turns determined eyes on Eddie next, "you call Richie and Bill, see if you can find either one, and Ben and I will meet you out at the truck in five." She grabs Ben by the hand, and drags him off outside, and Stan gives Eddie a single shrug before he treks off upstairs.

Eddie pulls out his phone once again, this time redialing Richie's number. It rings twice, before Richie picks up, and it sounds like he's outside. "Hey, Eds!" He sounds genuinely happy, but not quite the same way the others had, like something is missing. "Where are you buddy? I've been looking for you."

Eddie can't help but smile, even though Richie can't see it. Maybe it feels safer because he can't see it. "Don't call me Eds," he says, but even he can hear how sappy he sounds. _Time to rein it in, Kaspbrak._ "I'm looking for you too. Where did you go? Ben and Bev said you were here, and then you left without telling anyone."

There's the sound of rushing wind, like Richie moved the phone away from his face. The sound soon returns to normal, and Richie speaks again. "Ah, yeah, about that. I was planning on skipping town Eds, this whole clown fighting thing just, uh, wasn't for me. But!" He says quickly at the end, as if he knows Eddie is about to protest. "I decided not to! I just got out of the synagogue, and I'm on my way back to the car. You didn't answer my question though," Richie says, and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief.

"I'm at the Inn, Rich. We're going to go find Bill and then head round to Mike's. Meet us there?"

There's rustling on the other end of the line, and then Richie's voice. "Yeah, sure. Not sure how long I'll be, but shouldn't be more than twenty."

Eddie nods to himself. "Okay, we'll probably be longer, but I'll see you soon."

Eddie can tell Richie has his signature shit eating grin on as soon as he starts to speak again. "Yeah, as long as I'm not running late, I still need to go see Ms K first."

Eddie is smiling, even as he says, "I'm hanging up on you."

Richie must be able to tell, just as Eddie could. "Love you Eds! See you soon."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Love you too," he says, second nature in a way it has never been with Myra.

Eddie makes his way outside as he dials Bill's number. It goes to answer machine the first time, but he picks up on the fourth ring the second time Eddie calls. "Bill!" He greets to the sound of heavy breathing.

"Eddie! Eddie, there's this kid, he lives in my old house and he reminds me of G-Georgie and h-h-he said, he said that he hears voices! Like Pennywise! We've g-g-got to do something!" Bill says, in one breath, and Eddie has to take a second to process what he said.

"Bill! Bill, it's okay. I've got a solution. Just don't do anything rash, alright? He's gonna be fine, okay? He's not going to die," Eddie assures, trying to sound as calm as possible, and it seems to work for the most part. Bill takes a few seconds before he responds.

"Okay, yeah... yeah. Nothing rash." he says.

"We're gonna head round to Mike's," Eddie says. "Do you need a lift?"

"No, no, I'm not too far from the library, I can make my own way round." Mike replies. 

"Alright, see you there then." Eddie says, before they exchange goodbyes, and then Bill hangs up. Eddie looks up, and sees Bev by Ben's car, holding a small rucksack, but he doesn't see Ben.

"Eddie!" Bev says, smiling at him. She waves him over, and Eddie notes some bruising on her forearm he hadn't noticed before. When had that happened?

"Richie and Bill are going to meet us at Mike's. Where's Ben?" Eddie asks as he approaches her.

She stands from her placing leaning against the pickup truck that Ben is renting, and says, "he's just gone to the store. I thought it might be worth getting something for us to celebrate with when we've beaten Bowers into the dirt. Would you mind waiting here for him? I just remembered when I saw you on the phone that I left my phone charger upstairs," she gives him another smile, but this one seems slightly tighter. Eddie frowns slightly, confused and slightly concerned, but decides now isn't the time to ask her about it.

"Yeah sure," he says instead, returning her smile, "I can wait here."

Bev leans in, kissing his cheek. "Thanks Eddie!" She says over her shoulder as she heads back inside.

Eddie takes Bev's place leaning against the truck, and looks up at the sky. There's a few clouds rolling slowly across the blue, but it's a mostly uninterrupted expanse. There's a calmness now, that he didn't feel this morning, that he thinks he hasn't felt in a long time. Certainly not as long as he's been married, anyway.

Taking in a deep breath, Eddie pushes that thought away, for now. He can't think about Myra, not whilst he's in Derry. Not when he remembers all of this, when he's living his childhood again. The two things don't mix, and he doesn't think they ever will. _Oh Richie would hate Myra_, he thinks, and as soon as he realises it, he wonders if one day he'll have to choose between them. He hates how easy that choice seems.

"Hey, Eddie," comes a familiar voice, and Eddie drops his head to see Ben, a shopping bag in one hand and his car keys in the other. "You're here first so you get shotgun," he says with the most mischievous smile Eddie has seen on him since they met up again, and Eddie can't help but grin at him.

They climb into the car, and Ben passes over the bag. Eddie has a look inside, and finds some beer and a bottle of champagne, as well as some snack food. He puts it at his feet, and looks up to find Ben staring at him. "What? Have I got something on my face?" He asks, thinking that he might have missed some Leper vomit earlier, but Ben just smiles, shaking his head.

"Nah, just thinking about how much I missed you, man." He reaches over, clapping his hand down on Eddie's shoulder, and a blush rises to Eddie's face. "I can't believe you managed to defeat It! It's unexpected, but honestly I'm not surprised. You've always been first to help us Losers," Ben continues, and Eddie blushes even more than before. He hopes his ears aren't red too, because that would be even more embarrassing.

"Thanks, Ben," he manages, and Ben laughs good-naturedly.

"I love you man," he says, giving that smile again. "I think, that maybe if you weren't so in love with Richie, and I wasn't so in love with Bev, then we would have been a good couple as kids," Ben says, and Eddie's brain screeches to a halt. "Like, in high school, I mean. I don't know, is that weird to say?" There is a pause, before Ben asks, "Eddie, are you okay?"

Eddie can't make eye contact with Ben because he's afraid he might combust. _Ben thought he was gay? Ben liked him? Ben has thought about them dating? Ben thought he loves Richie? _

"Eddie, Eds, look at me," Ben says, squeezing Eddie's shoulder. "You're scaring me a bit, man."

Eddie looks up, but focuses on Ben's forehead rather than his eyes. "Uhhhhhh," he tries to say something else, but finds his words have been relocated elsewhere at the moment.

"You good? Oh, I'm so sorry for springing that on you, we can totally pretend I didn't say that," Eddie can see bits of the Ben he knew as a kid peaking through, and he realises, yeah, Ben's probably right.

"No, n-no, it's okay, I was just," he laughs nervously, " just a bit surprised." He pauses, glancing down at his hands, "how-... you liked me?"

Ben leans back a bit in his seat, comforted that Eddie isn't about to have a panic attack. "Well, yeah. I mean, you were pretty wound up all the time, but you were really sweet, and you were the first person to take care of me. Left an impact." Ben smiles at him, and Eddie blushes hard.

"And... and you think I'm gay?" He asks, more hesitant this time. 

Ben picks up on it, because he continues speaking much softer than before. "Yeah, figured it out the same way I knew you were in love with Richie; experience. I'm bi, so I kinda got similar vibes off of you, and I'm in love with Bev and she's never noticed, so I can recognise the same thing happening on your end," he finishes with a soft smile. "Though," he continues, a moment later, when Eddie finally makes eye contact again, "to be fair to you, I do think you have a definite chance with Richie."

Eddie splutters, and Ben begins to laugh. He doesn't have the chance to reply, though, as Bev climbs in the backseat of the car. "Stan's on his way," she says, before smirking at the two of them. "What are you laughing about Ben?"

Eddie, somehow, manages to go even redder.

"Nothing, nothing, don't worry about it Bev," Ben gets out as he begins to calm down, and Eddie is greatful for how good of a friend he is. If this was Stan or Richie, his secret would have been spilled in seconds.

Bev smiles, but something glints in her eye, like she knows she's going to find out sooner rather than later. "Okay Benny, whatever you say."

The other door opens, and Stan clambers into the car too. "Alright," he says, putting his rucksack in at his feet, "I'm ready, let's go!" He pulls his door closed, and Ben takes them out the parking lot, and onto the road, headed for the library.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for vomit, stabbings, blood, and minor surgery, specifically performed by a non-medical professional.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I'm editing the next one atm, but I'm not sure how long it will take. Shout out to @bookrockshooter for supporting me in writing this!


	2. Or Did He?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would it really be that easy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter in the end notes uwu

The ride over is quiet. Bev has the aux cord and Eddie is hit by wave after wave of nostalgia as she plays her music, and it seems she has almost cast a spell over the occupants of the car. He had been worried, before, about how easily they would all click again as adults. And when it was just like old times, he was worried it wouldn't last. Now, as he sits here, Ben humming along, Stan texting, Bev smiling up at him, he wonders how he could have been worried at all. Even if It isn't actually dead, and they do still have to fight, he'll be happy to do it if it means keeping these people safe. 

By the time they pull up outside the Derry library, night is starting to fall. Richie's car is there, but there is no sign of Bill.

"He did walk, though," Stan points out, climbing out of the car, heading for the front door. The others trail behind, but Eddie can't help but feel a sense of unease. He glances around the parking lot, but notes only one other car present, and it's not familiar to him.

Just as they reach the doors, they hear someone shout from down the street, and they turn to face the newcomer as a group.

"Hi-yo Silver!" Bill shouts, and Bev let's out an excited shout. Bill cycles up to them, hopping off of his bike like he's 13 again, even as the handlebars twist out from underneath him and he almost falls.

Beverly grabs him in a quick hug, overjoyed by something as simple as Bill's old bike, and Eddie thinks to himself that it's honestly endearing. Ben claps a hand on Bill's shoulder, smile just as wide as it was for Bev and Eddie. Eddie smiles himself at the scene, happy to see his friends happy. "Put her in the trailer bed," Ben says to Bill, gesturing at his bike. "I know it's unlikely someone will steal her, but better safe than sorry."

Bill does just that, easing her up with great care despite her worn condition. He turns back to them with a small smile, and then joins the group again. They all share a look, ready for anything, and then they open the library doors as one.

There is a shout from somewhere further inside, and a loud bang. They barely hesitate before all five of them are rushing through the library, only to come across an unexpected scene.

Richie is stood over Mike, who is lying in a pile of broken glass on the ground. Richie looks pale, but unharmed, and Mike looks to be in shock. On the ground next to them is Bowers, face down and with an old tom-o-hawk sticking out the back of his head.

"Oh hey guys-" Richie says when he sees them, before he suddenly turns away to vomit all over the ground next to Mike. Bill steps forward, offering Mike a hand up, which he accepts.

"Are you okay?" Bill asks, concern fully apparent.

"No, Bill, I'm not okay, I just killed a guy!" Richie says, panic making his voice high, and Eddie feels for his oldest friend. He had been terrified when he had stabbed Bowers earlier, despite the fact he had just been stabbed himself.

"I was talking to Mike," Bill says, like it was obvious, and Eddie realises, a touch late, that it probably was. Richie huffs, but doesn't comment further, and so Bill turns back to Mike, who has a long and painful looking cut on his arm.

"Doctor Ben, I think your talents are required," Bev says, making her way carefully over to Bill and Mike, Ben following after her. Stan glances between Eddie and the others, before realising Eddie has yet to move. He reaches back, grabbing Eddie by the arm, and Stan drags Eddie across the room, letting go of him only a few inches from Richie, who is still stood there in shock. Eddie looks between Richie and Stan, who has crossed the last few feet to join the rest of the Losers. He glares at the back of Stan's head, but is thankful for his interference anyway.

"You okay?" He asks Richie, who he can feel staring at him, though Eddie has yet to look away from Stan and the others.

"I should be asking you that," Richie says, instead of answering the question.

Eddie smiles, slightly, to himself. "I asked you first."

Richie moves to stand beside Eddie, and also turns to look at the others. Mike is having the glass in his arm picked out by Ben, while Bev, Bill and Stan are discussing something that is likely important. Eddie can feel the heat of Richie's arm where their shoulders just barely brush. "I'm not sure," he answers eventually, and Eddie finally turns his head to look at his friend. He realises, this close to Richie, that he has to look up to see his face. "I still feel a bit sick, and I really don't want to think too hard on the fact that I have legitimately just murdered someone, even if that person is Henry Bowers. Is, was? I don't know man," he says, his unease evident as he runs his hand through his hair. Eddie leans into his side slightly, and Richie, just barely noticeably, slumps into him.

"It's alright, I thought I had killed him earlier, so I kind'a get where you're coming from," Eddie says, and reflects on the day's events. _Wow_, he thinks to himself, _I'm really tired._

"Wait, really?" Richie says, turning to look at him. "When?"

Eddie gives a one sided shrug, "just after you left the Inn earlier. Bowers surprised me in the bathroom, that's where I got this," he says, gesturing at the gauze on his face. He smirks at the dumbfounded expression on Richie's face. "And then I stabbed him back."

Richie gives a startled laugh, and the others glance over at them for a moment, before continuing their conversations. "You? Eddie Kaspbrak? Germaphobe, mommies boy? I'm impressed!" Richie is smiling, and despite the mocking words, the sentiment rings true. Eddie can't help it, his natural reaction to that smile has always been to smile back.

"Oh, yeah? Like you're any better, Tozier. I'm surprised you managed to lift that axe at all."

They're interrupted by Mike, who is having his arm bandaged by Ben. "Oi, you two, stop flirting and get over here."

Eddie blushes again, and thinks to himself that he really needs to stop acting like a teenage girl with a crush, before he gets his face stuck permanently red. He takes Richie's wrist and, giving him no time to protest, tugs him the rest of the way to join the Losers. Ben gives him a look, and Eddie pointedly looks elsewhere, but he can still feel Ben's smile from across the misshapen circle.

"So, Eddie, you wanted to tell the others something?" Bev says, smile wide, and Eddie nods.

"Oh, yeah, right." He pasues, suddenly nervous, "well, I'm not absolutely certain, and there's definitely a high chance I'm wrong, but, I might have, maybe, killed Pennywise?" He rushes it out, worried about their response. He knows they'll believe him, but that almost makes it worse. He really doesn't want to get their hopes up.

"What?" Mike asks, shock evident in his face.

"How?!" Bill and Richie say at the same time, just after, and Eddie looks between the three of them.

Once again, he takes his time explaining to his friends what had transpired in the pharmacy basement. They ask questions, and he does his best to explain, but he tells them honestly that he has no idea what he did differently from everyone else.

"What were you thinking?" Mike asks, "when you killed It?"

Eddie thinks back, "I'm not really sure? I was panicking a fair bit at the time, Mike."

Mike pushes anyway, "Eddie, it's kind of important."

Frowning, Eddie pushes back, "why? Why is it so important Mike?" Mike is silent, and so Eddie barrels on, without a second thought. "You still haven't even told us how you were going to get us to defeat It! Did you even have a plan at all?"

Mike frowns too, concern and worry and frustration all wrapped into one drop of his brow. "Does it matter what I intended if It's possibly dead?"

Eddie snaps back something they had all thought, at least once, "it does if it wasn't going to work! Especially if I didn't actually kill It."

There's a few seconds of silence, before Mike sighs heavily, running a hand down his face. "Mike?" Bill asks, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know," Mike says, quieter than before. There's an uncomfortable shuffling from the others. Mike looks up, glancing at all of their faces, before settling on Eddie's. Eddie notes that Mike had barely even looked at Bill, who's mouth is now hanging slightly open in shock. "I don't know for sure it would have worked, okay? The last time, the last time they tried..." he trails off, but he doesn't need to continue for the Losers to understand; last time they had died.

Eddie wants to calm down, to go to his friend, but he's terrified. Terrified of what he's seen, what he's had to do, what might still happen if It isn't actually dead. "You lied to us?!"

The silence stretches on, for what feels like years, as Eddie's fearful anger grows. "What the fuck man?! When were you planning on telling us?!" Mike turns away, unable to meet any of their gazes.

"You weren't," Bill asks, but it comes out more like a statement with how flat his tone has gone. The air is filled with a chill that wasn't there a few minutes ago.

"Mike..." Ben says, something like disappointment heavy in his tone. Mike pulls away from Bill's hand resting on his shoulder, form drawing in on itself.

"I thought... I thought if you all believed we could win, it might work this time," he says, voice barely above a whisper. He doesn't look back, even though he must be able to feel their eyes on him.

"Fuck sake, Mike," Richie says, harsh and low, like he can't quite believe what he's hearing.

"I'm leaving," Stan says suddenly, turning around and walking back the way they had come through earlier. It's strange, Eddie thinks, that they had only gotten here a few minutes ago. It feels like both years, and seconds. He shakes his head, and turns back to Mike, who is watching Stan leave, wide eyed and silent.

"Me too," he declares, and purposefully bumps his shoulder into Richie's as he goes, startling the taller man from his own thoughts.

Richie turns away too, departing with a simple, "see ya'." He uses his long legs to easily catch up with Eddie, and the two of them leave the library together, nobody calling out for them to stop.

Eddie can see Stan going off down the street, and looks up at Richie to figure out where he is mentally. He decides that Stan will probably be fine alone, if the look on Richie's face is anything to go by, so he takes hold of Richie's wrist and pulls him in a different direction. Knowing Stan, he'll probably go straight back to the Inn anyway, so he thinks to himself that they can take the long way back.

They walk slowly, not saying anything, Richie's wrist a warm comfort beneath his hand. After a few seconds Richie pulls it away, and Eddie is almost disappointed before something else slides into his palm. He looks down and sees their hands connected, and something tight relaxes in his chest.

The streetlights block out most of the stars, but some constilations that Eddie recognises are still visible. He tracks them with his eyes as they walk down the street, the occasional car passing by. Eddie knows that if something comes up, the others will call, but decides to try and enjoy this quiet moment with Richie, even if it's tinged by sadness.

"What's LA like?" He asks, breaking the silence. Richie startles, slightly, before turning to look at him.

"LA?" He asks, as he thinks. "It's, well it's LA, isn't it? Life of glitz and glamour and drugs and booze. Nobody gives a shit about anyone else, but some of them pretend to. It's work, really," he says, something almost dejected in his tone. As if it wasn't all he had thought it might be.

Eddie gives Richie's fingers a light squeeze. "Why don't you write your own material?"

Richie freezes, steps faltering, before starting again, slightly faster this time. "It's- it's not a big deal, really," he says by way of explanation, and Eddie frowns at his back.

"Then explain it to me," Eddie says, coming to a full stop, so that Richie can't walk away without dropping his hand. "Why are you sad, Rich?"

Richie stops a few steps away, hand stretched out behind him, just like Eddie's is stretched out in front. "W-what? I'm not- I'm not sad!" He says, but it sounds defensive, and he still won't turn around. "Not sure where you got that idea from, Eds, but you're wrong!"

"You can't lie to me, Rich," Eddie says, giving Richie's hand a tug, "we're best friends. I know you."

It's like his trigger something in Richie. He hears Richie's breath hitch, and sees him touch his face with his free hand, but still he doesn't turn. Eddie gives him a few seconds to try and gather himself, before he cautiously steps forward so they're stood shoulder to shoulder once again. He doesn't look at Richie's face, but he doesn't have to.

"You're my closest friend, always have been, always will be." He pauses, to let it sink in, before he does something Richie always does for him. He says, "but don't go spreading that to anyone else, capiche? I'll kill you if anyone finds out I actually like you."

Richie huffs out a laugh, but it at least sounds genuine. From the corner of his eye, Eddie can see Richie take off his glasses. He risks a glance up at his friend's face, and sees how vulnerable he looks. His eyes are starting to go red, and there's tears in his eyes that are just starting to fall. "You're a fucking sap," Richie says, and his voice sounds rough, like he's trying to hold back his tears even now.

Eddie smiles at him. "You're worse," he says, and tightens his grip on their joined hands. Richie rolls his eyes, but his smile grows.

"I've missed you," he manages, before his voice cracks. He looks away, having to take a deep breath before he can manage eye contact again. "I really missed you."

"You didn't even remember me," Eddie says, but he knows it doesn't matter. He had missed Richie too; he just hadn't known what he was missing till he found it again.

"I know," Richie says, but it sounds so fucking sad when he says it like that, and Eddie can't stand it any longer. He reaches up and pulls Richie into a hug.

"Don't be stupid," Eddie says into his ear. "Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking, because it's stupid."

Richie laughs wetly into his shoulder. "What, are you a telepath now?"

"Might as well be for how empty your head is," Eddie snarks back, and with the arm he has around Richie's shoulders he raps his knuckles against the back of Richie's skull.

Richie wraps his arms around Eddie's waist, tight enough that Eddie wouldn't escape easily, even if he wanted to. "That's mean, Eds," he says, but Eddie can feel his smile like the sun's heat on a July day.

"Don't call me that," he says as he buries his face in Richie's hair.

"Whatever you say, Eds."

They stand there, held together, for at least another few minutes, before Richie sniffles and finally pulls away. Eddie is sad for the loss of heat, but smiles anyway. Richie pokes his uninjured cheek, and laughs when Eddie's face scrunches up. "Fucking ass," Eddie says, giving Richie a shove.

Richie laughs again, pushing back. "Says you," he says, wiping at his face even as they continue walking.

Eddie has only just started to wonder if they'll hold hands again when Richie makes the decision for him, grabbing his right hand like it's something they do everyday. Eddie wouldn't but upset if it was, but he's not going to admit that out-loud.

"So," he tries again, "why don't you write your own jokes?"

Richie gives a half shrug, lifting Eddie's hand slightly. "It's, not something I've ever told anyone else," he says.

"You can tell me," Eddie says, and so Richie does.

"I did, originally. Twenty years ago, now. I had part-time jobs, but I loved being up on stage, doing standup. Got my break in the early 2000s, got a slot on SNL. Only problem was," he pauses, looking down at their joined hands, before continuing, "they didn't think my content was age appropriate." He shrugs again, but this time it's more like a sigh. "They didn't want me telling queer jokes, Eds. They didn't want people to know I'm gay."

Richie laughs, but it's sad, and the sound of it breaks Eddie's heart. "I spent all that time being- being so ashamed of who I was! I hated myself, do hate myself, for being gay. I thought... I thought maybe, if I could accept it, could connect with other people like me. Teach others that it was okay? I thought maybe then, I would be fine with it." He wipes his face once more, chuckle sounding suspiciously like a sob. "But fuck me, huh?"

Eddie's heart clenches, and he looks up at Richie in shock. He really...? "How could they do that to you?" Eddie says instead, outrage winning out over everything else he's feeling. "You had the bravery to put that out there and they just wanna- just want to what? Shove you back in the closet?" Richie smiles, something bright in his eyes, just past the sadness. Something that makes Eddie think 'I've missed him,' and 'this is home'.

"Eds, calm down, it's alright," Richie tries, but Eddie is worked up now, the day's events only adding to it.

"It's obviously not alright, Richie! You're so sad now, I don't remember you ever being this sad when we were kids! And I know we haven't seen each other in years, but this isn't acceptable!" They stop again, bathed in the light of an old street light, and Richie takes Eddie's free hand with his own.

"It's okay, Eds. I promise." He smiles, last of his tears starting to dry. "Because I've got you back." His now soft expression is by the harsh light above. "I'll deal with being closeted the rest of my life if I have to, because you'll be there with me, yeah?"

Eddie nods, returning the smile as he puts his anger to one side. "Forever man, yeah. And don't you forget it, you're stuck with me now."

Richie laughs, light, and says "alright, I think that's enough mushy stuff for one night. Come on," and he begins to drag Eddie in the direction of the Inn. Eddie follows along, happy to be side by side with his best friend once again.

On their way back they discuss all the things they've missed in each other's lives, though Eddie tries to steer clear of talking too much about Myra. He stopped trying to convince himself he loved her at some point yesterday, but he's not sure when. Maybe it doesn't matter. He hasn't ever loved her, no matter how sad that seems.

They arrive at the Inn to find Stan sat at the bar, a drink in his hand. They share a look, before Richie and Eddie take a seat on either side of him.

"Hey Staniel the Maniel, what's up?" Richie asks, giving Stan's shoulder a soft nudge with his own.

Stan doesn't look away from where he's staring into space, but replies, "I 'dunno, Rich, w'assup with you?" He takes a deep breath, but it shakes. With his free hand he weaves his fingers into his hair and holds tight.

"Stan?" Eddie asks, resting his hand on Stan's arm. In response, Stan finishes what was left of his drink in one go, throwing it back, before returning his hand to his hair once again.

"Right," Richie says, getting to his feet, "that's enough of that." He walks behind the bar, sorts himself and Eddie a drink each, but cuts Stan off when he reaches for the bottle sat next to him. Stan manages a half-hearted glare at this, but doesn't otherwise complain.

Eddie takes his drink and gives it a precautionary sniff. He can't help it, as the smell of strong whiskey hits him, his face likely portrays his disgust. He knows he's right when Richie starts to laugh, and even Stan snorts lightly. Eddie rolls his eyes, flipping both of them off. "Fuck you guys," he says, but there is no heat behind his words.

"Go on, Eds!" Richie says through his laughter, "drink it!"

Eddie glares at his friend. "Don't call me Eds," is what he says, but he does as he's asked, and takes as big a gulp as he can manage from his glass.

Richie starts to laugh harder, and Stan is smiling, hand in his hair moved to cover his mouth, but Eddie can see it in his eyes. Eddie would laugh with them, if he wasn't in the middle of gagging, and feeling slightly pissed of at Richie for making him a drink that tasted this bad.

"What the fuck, Richard?!" He manages, and Richie starts making a wheezing noise that Eddie might be concerned about in any other situation. As it is, Eddie is familiar with one of Richie's rarest laughs, the one where he is genuinely so happy that he can barely breathe.

Stan starts to laugh then, too, and Eddie finds himself joining in. He really lo-

He purposefully tries to force his mind blank, even though he knows that never works. Think about anything else, just anything else, please. His laughter fades, but he has enough awareness to keep his smile up. He shouldn't think things like that, but he can't help it. Eddie looks between his two other friends, Stan still laughing, and Richie folded over the counter, making his happy wheezing noises. Eddie smiles brighter, and thinks that it's good to be home, instead.

When they all finally calm down, Richie snags the rest of Eddie's drink and finishes it himself, before turning and downing his own. Eddie rolls his eyes, but he can't keep the smile off of his face for long. Richie grabs them a bottle of wine, and two wine glasses, before coming back to their side of the bar.

"Come on," he says to Stan, but he is looking over at Eddie as he says it. Eddie stands, and between them they help Stan up the stairs, and all three of them manage to make it to Richie's room without falling over.

Richie places the wine glasses down, alongside the bottle, on the bedside table, before moving into the bathroom. "I'll be back in a second!" He calls as he goes.

Before Eddie has time to think about what that bathroom had last been used for, an "oh Jesus Christ!" comes from next door. Eddie begins to laugh again, as Richie re-enters the room with a blood soaked towel in one hand, and blood smeared all over his face.

Richie glares at Eddie, flipping him off as he goes back into the bathroom, shutting the door hard behind him as he does.

"So," Stan says, from his place in the middle of the bed. He's lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. His face is red from alcohol, but his eyes aren't quite as glazed over as they were downstairs. Eddie looks over at the bathroom door, and then back at Stan, only to find Stan facing him, now. "You're still in love with him, huh?"

Eddie splutters, and then thinks back to what Ben had said earlier that day. "I'm not!" He protests, but Stan just gives him a look, and Eddie groans. He flops down next to Stan, so he can stare at the ceiling instead of his friend's judging face.

"I don't know," he says this time, and Stan gives a short huff, like he doesn't believe him. "Really," Eddie starts again, "I don't. It's been so long since we've all seen each other, and I'm married now Stan. I can't... I can't be gay."

Stan punches his arm, but it's too soft to hurt. "You're an idiot, Kaspbrak." Eddie looks over at him, but Stan is still staring at the ceiling. "I can't say for sure what the others think, but I've known you were gay since we were ten years old. Are you gonna' try and tell me now, after all these years, that you actually are attracted to women?"

Stan sighs, letting his head drop back onto the bed. "It's been easier not to think about it," he says. Stan doesn't reply, this time, and Eddie gets the feeling he won't. "I can't just leave Myra. She's..." Eddie tries to think of a way to describe her that's in any way flattering. "Protective?"

Stan makes a noise that sounds like a held back groan. "She's like your mom, Eddie? You married your mom?"

Eddie shoves Stan, this time hard enough that he almost falls off the bed. It's barely wide enough for two people, never mind three. "Yeah, okay, maybe I did!" He sighs again, and thinks to himself that he really feels his age right now.

"It's that stupid clown's fault," he says. He traces the ceiling with his eyes, listening to the soft sound of Stan's breathing next to him, the slightest rustling of the sheets they lie on, the tap running in the bathroom and Richie humming something to himself.

"I forgot that I was stronger than my mom made me. I forgot what it was like to go against her, to push back." He puts his hands to his face, pressing down on his eyes till he sees bright colour behind his eyelids. "I forgot, Stan. I forgot everything."

Stan doesn't get the chance to reply, as the bathroom door opens again. Eddie drops his hands, to see Richie stood there, smiling. "Wha'd I miss?"

Stan answers for them both. "Just talking about how much of an ass you are. We both really, really hate you."

Richie laughs, short and sweet, and then crosses the room to the bed, throwing himself down on top of them both. The air is forced out of Eddie's chest at the impact, and he gives Richie a push to dislodge him. Richie laughs as he shuffles about, until finally all three of them are on the bed. Eddie has to curl around Richie to stop from falling off the side of the bed. From what he can see of Stan, he's in the same boat.

"You're too fucking big for this bed, Rich," Eddie says, blowing at Richie's hair, which is falling into Eddie's face.

"Hey!" Richie protests, "this actually is my bed! You guys are the ones hogging it."

There's some more shuffling, and Eddie ends up half way onto Richie's chest. He can see Stan now, who is smirking at him. Eddie flips him off.

"Oooo, let's have a sleepover!" Richie says, and Stan actually does groan this time.

"Only if I get to pick the movie," he says, and Richie enthusiastically agrees.

After a third round of shuffling, they're all sat upright in Richie's bed, still pressed tightly together, and trying to figure out how the tv works. Stan has two remotes, one in each hand, confusion clear across his face, but Eddie and Richie have decided to leave him to it. They each have a wine glass in hand, filled almost to the top with some sort of merlot, Eddie thinks. The other half of the bottle is still sat beside the bed, but Eddie has a feeling it's not going to last even one movie, nevermind the night. They're both holding back giggles as they watch Stan struggle with ancient technology. He keeps glaring at them every few seconds, which only causes more laughter.

Eventually Stan figures out how to turn the tv on, and ends up choosing 'Finding Dory', as it's one of the few movies playing on the limited channels the Inn gets. They don't end up watching most of it, spending a large amount of their time getting drunk and talking about Stan's wife of all things.

"We've been married almost fifteen years now," he says, smile soft on his face as he thinks about Patricia. "Always had trouble trying to have kids, but we finally got pregnant just a month ago," he gushes, smile getting almost impossibly wider.

"That's amazing Stan!" Richie says with a laugh, clapping him on the shoulder. "You better name your kid after their Uncle Richie though," he says, mock serious.

Stan laughs, and pushes Richie away, which in turn pushes him into Eddie. "No way man, I wouldn't ever do something so cruel to my kid," he says, laughing now too. Richie gasps in fake offense, and Eddie laughs at them both.

"Yeah, Richard is a terrible name," he agrees, and Richie whips round to face him.

"Betrayal! The horror!" He cries, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead as he pretends to fall back into Stan, as if he was a fainting couch.

"You big baby," Eddie says, but he pulls him up off Stan anyway. They settle back in again, turning their attention back on Stan. Richie has a certain sheen to his eyes, and his mouth is stretched up in a small happy smile.

"You really are gonna be a dad, huh?" Richie says, wonder in his voice, and Stan smiles up at him.

"Yeah, yeah I guess I am," he says, and Eddie suddenly thinks that maybe he would like to feel like that too, the way Stan looks right now.

He breaks it with a joke, because of course he does. He's almost as bad as Richie when it comes to dealing with emotions. "Better be a better dad than either of ours," he says to Stan, gesturing between himself and Richie, and they both start to laugh.

"Not like it'll be hard," Richie says, pulling Stan into a side hug. "You're gonna be great."

It's at this moment they hear a call from outside, just over the din of the movie, which is almost over. "Stan?" It calls, and Eddie thinks it might be Beverley.

"Richie? Eddie?" Another voice calls, and that must be Bill.

Eddie stretches, raising his arms above his head until his spine pops. "Better go see what they want," he says, and Richie takes delight in pushing Eddie out of bed. "Fuck you, asshole," Eddie says from his place on the floor, but it just causes Richie to laugh harder.

Eddie gets to his feet, and makes his way out of Richie's room to stand at the top of the stairs. "We're up here!" He calls, and waits until he can hear feet on the stairs below. He leans over the railing to see Bev, Ben, Bill and Mike climbing up towards him, and the joy he had been feeling is suddenly gone.

"Hey, Eds," Bev says, leading the group up the stairs, and she at least looks a little apologetic. "We thought we should talk about what happened at the library."

Eddie turns away, and tries to gather himself, but he's already had too much to drink for that to work. "Can't it wait?" Eddie asks instead, and Bev hesitates.

"No," Bill says, and Eddie thinks that he really doesn't want to have an argument right now. "We don't even know if Pennywise is dead for sure. We can't take the risk of just leaving it be. We need to talk about this, Eddie."

Eddie wants to argue back, wants to say that he knows It's dead, that he killed It himself, but he can't even convince himself. He knows Bill is right, but that doesn't mean he has to like it. "Fine," he says, sharply, and leads the others to Richie's room. When he opens the door, it's to laughter, and he feels guilty about ruining his friends' night.

Richie and Stan look up, and something on his face must tell them something is wrong. They sober up, emotionally if not physically, and start to climb out of bed. Everyone else enters the room behind Eddie as Stan goes to the tv and switches it off. The room is bathed in darkness for a few seconds, before Richie manages to get a lamp turned on. Stan goes to stand by his side, and Eddie also moves to stand with them. He feels like they are two opposing forces now, one half of the Losers against the other, just like that summer in '89.

"What?" Richie asks, and Ben sighs.

"We're not looking for a fight, guys," Ben says, and they listen to him, because Ben is probably the best of them all. Eddie certainly thinks so, anyway.

"What are you here for, then?" Stan asks.

Bill steps forward, dragging Mike out with him. "We don't know for sure that Pennywise is dead. Mike explained his original plan to us, and while we might have some disagreements over his method, it seems pretty solid." He pauses, to look over the three of them stood by the bed. "We need to go back to the sewers. We need to see if there's anything left of It."

Dread builds deep in Eddie's gut, and it threatens to overwhelm him. He's scared. He can't do this.

"When?" Stan asks, quiet and defeated. His hands are weak fists by his sides.

"Tomorrow, first light. The more we delay, the more time It will have to recover," Mike supplies, speaking up at last.

Eddie nods, looking at his sock clad feet, and feels how his breath threatens to leave him altogether. He wonders, absently, where his inhaler is.

Richie sighs, and Eddie desperately wants to go back to ten minutes ago, when they had been happy and close, like they hadn't been in years.

"Fine," he says. "If that's all...?" He asks. There's some awkward movement from the others, as they look to Bill. He sighs, turning and walking out the door, and the rest of the Losers follow, understanding Richie's dismissal for what it is.

On her way out, Bev pauses, and turns to face them. She looks like she's about to say something, but thinks better of it. She gives them a small, sad smile, before leaving with the others.

Stan flops down onto the bed, head in his hands, his breathing quickly speeding up. "Stan?" Richie asks, sitting next to him, looking worried.

Eddie also approaches, but gives Stan his space. All three of them know what a panic attack looks like, and this one comes as no surprise.

"Stan?" Richie asks again, "is it okay if I touch you?" Stan rapidly shakes his head, and Richie leans back slightly. "Okay, that's alright, no touching." He looks around again, searching for something, but Eddie steps in first.

"Do you want the light off?" He asks, and there's a second of nothing, before Stan slowly nods. Eddie reaches over, turning off the lamp, before going to kneel on the floor in front of Stan.

Richie speaks next, quieter this time. "Do you want us to be quiet?"

Stan thinks again, longer this time, but shakes his head once more. Richie nods to himself, and Eddie can only barely make it out in the dark. "So, Eds," Richie starts.

"Don't call me Eds," Eddie says automatically, smiling slightly when Richie muffles his quiet laugh into his sleeve.

"Anyway, my Eddie Spaghetti-" Eddie groans, but this time doesn't protest, "-since we spent so long talking about the lovely Patty Uris, care to share about your own better half?"

Eddie frowns. He had been hoping to avoid this line of conversation for as long as possible.

"Her name is Myra..." he starts, but finds himself at a loss for what to say. Richie picks up on this instantly, as he often does when it comes to Eddie. They know each other too well.

"Wow, I'm really getting a feel for her personality here Eds. I'm not sure how much more you could possibly tell me!" Eddie glares at him through the dark, and hopes Richie can feel him burning holes through his head.

"Shut up, Tozier," he says, before taking a deep breath and trying again. "She's... nice, she's nice. She has a good job at a local publishing house, and she looks after me. She's..." he hesitates, but starts speaking again quickly so Richie doesn't interrupt. "She's good. A good wife."

"Dude," Richie says, after a long pause. "It sounds like you're an ad reader. What the fuck was that? That's not how you describe someone you love!"

Eddie frowns, and wraps his arms around his chest. He really wishes he hadn't left his inhaler behind, earlier. "What do you want me to say?"

Richie sounds like he's struggling to keep his voice level. "I don't know! I just, thought it would be something a bit more substantial than that. I mean, how would you describe Stan to me?"

Eddie only has to think for a moment before answering. "Well he's one of my closest friends. A snarky little shit, but funny and can be genuinely caring and soft when he wants to be. I mean, he got us all shower caps so we wouldn't get spiders in our hair!"

Richie gestures wildly with his hands, but exactly what he's trying to say, Eddie can't figure out. "That! That's what talking about someone close to you should sound like. What the fuck does 'she's good' even mean, Eddie?"

Eddie huffs, and tucks his face into his elbow. "Fuck off," is what he says, but he thinks that maybe Richie is right. Maybe he doesn't even like Myra, nevermind love her.

They don't speak for another couple of seconds, before Richie sighs, and tries again. "Why won't you speak about her?" He asks, and when Eddie goes to protest, he speaks again. "You got to ask about my shows, I get to ask about your wife."

Eddie grumbles, but it does seem fair. "Fine, fine." He looks up again, and sees that Stan has lifted his head to look between the two of them. Other than his slightly too wide eyes, he looks to be calming down. "She's... Myra's like my mom."

"She's what?" Richie asks, sounding shocked.

"My mom! She's basically my mom," Eddie manages to get out in a harsh whisper. "God I fucked myself over again," he adds, mostly to himself.

"Eds, I thought... Damn I really thought you had gotten out of there man. When you left for college I thought there would be no turning back for you. How did you end up with someone like your mom?" He sounds concerned, and it's the last thing Eddie wants right now.

Eddie shakes his head, angry with himself, too. "I forgot I had ever fought my mom for my freedom, forgot I even had friends. I was alone, and she was familiar, and then before I knew it I was married." Angry tears come to his eyes, so he hides his face in his elbow once again.

"Eds..." Richie says, soft, but stops. Eddie realises, that for once, Richie doesn't know what to say. He almost laughs, if not for the fear that he'll start to cry if he does.

"Eddie, you're an idiot," Stan says, voice tight. Eddie doesn't look up, but pays attention anyway. "But if we'd have been there, we'd have made sure to stop you from being a dumbass." Eddie smiles, knowing it's Stan's way of saying they would have looked out for him. He wipes his eyes, and sits back on his heels.

"Feeling better?" He asks, and Stan nods.

"Tired," he says, and Richie stands.

He offers his hand first to Eddie, who accepts, and then turns to Stan, pulling him up as well. He wraps both of them in a hug, and Eddie relaxes into it. "You guys are going to be the death of me," he says, and Eddie chuckles.

"We try," he says, and suddenly the hug becomes a noogie. Eddie yelps as he tries, and fails, to escape, and Stan laughs at his misery, but Eddie can't be mad at him for it.

When Richie releases him, he sends the two of them off to get changed, but demands they return. They can't have a sleepover in different rooms, after all.

Eddie treks back to his room, and digs out his pyjamas. He finds his inhaler buried in his suitcase, untouched the entire time he's been in Derry. He sighs, and puts it back.

He showers as fast as he can, and gets changed into his night clothes, a matching set of plain stripes. He makes sure to brush his teeth as well, and tries not to think too hard about spending the night in Richie's room.

On his way out, he makes sure to grab some extra pillows, and a blanket he had brought with him from New York. Looking down at it, gripped loosely in his hand, he thinks back on when he got it.

_It had been late September, and the Manhattan air had grown a chill at night. Eddie, on his way home from work, had thought about climbing into his cold, single bed, and couldn't help but crave some sort of comfort. He had stopped at a late night convenience store, one he knew to carry almost everything. Making his way inside, he had wandered the isles, not sure exactly what it was he was looking for._

_The cashier looked half asleep, leaning against the counter with their head on one fist, their eyes drooping every few seconds. They had the radio playing quietly, some comedy skit Eddie didn't recognise. He rounded the corner, and found small home items. He walked slowly, glancing over everything, but barely paying attention. As he got closer to the front of the store, he began to make out more clearly the words on the radio._

_"...and that's when I said to her, 'if you're gonna put me in the dog house, might as well get me a blanket and a water bowl, I'm gonna be a while!'" Eddie doesn't recognise the show, but he does think the voice is familiar. At the very least, it's a good idea, and he turns, going back up the isle, and picking out the softest blanket he can find._

_When he eventually gets home, to find Myra waiting up for him, he finds it a little easier to deal with all her questions and restrictions, with the plastic bag in his hand. That night, when he crawls into bed, he wraps his new blanket around himself, and can't help but feel like a tiny piece of that thing he's been missing all his life, is just a touch smaller than it was before._

Eddie smiles even now, looking down at the blanket, and fulfills a childish wish that he hasn't done since his last sleepover with Richie.

When he steps out the door into the hall, blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape, he is immediately confronted with startled laughter. There, in the hall, is Ben and Stan, talking together outside Ben's door. Or, at least, they had been.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Stan gasps between giggles.

"Well-" he goes to defend, but he is suddenly self-conscious. This is a bit much for a grown man, isn't it?

The door to Richie's room opens, and he prepares himself for more humiliation. He is surprised, however, when Richie steps out, his own blanket around his neck. Ben and Stan laugh harder, but Richie just smiles, and suddenly everything is that much easier to deal with.

"Why the fuck are you guys being so loud?" Richie asks, gesturing at Ben and Stan, who are holding each other up. The two of them continue to laugh, so Eddie walks to Richie's side, and rolls his eyes dramatically.

"Children, the both of you," he says, and Richie chuckles then too.

"Tradition, eh?" Richie says, quiet enough that only Eddie can hear him, and Eddie nods, smiling. Richie blushes, slightly, and looks away.

Before Eddie can think anymore on that weird reaction, Bev enters the hallway, too. "What the fuck?" She asks, and Ben and Stan laugh even harder.

"We'll take this one, you take that one?" Richie asks, pointing at Ben and Stan who are basically on the floor at this point. Bev nods in agreement, and they move towards their hysterical friends.

Eddie and Richie each grab one of Stan's arms, an imitation of their earlier task, taking Stan up the stairs. Stan's uproarious laughter only serves to prove that he's still drunk.

Bev manages to swing one of Ben's arms around her shoulders, and heaves him up also. They all share parting smiles, before going their sepearte ways; Bev to Ben's room, and Richie and Eddie to Richie's.

Just like before, all three of them fall onto Richie's bed. Someone falls on Richie's cape, and he yelps as it tugs on his throat, causing Stan to laugh even harder. Eddie begins to chuckle as he helps detangle them all, putting his pillows on the floor to be organised later.

When they finally get settled, Stan is wiping tears from his eyes, as he tries to get his breathing under control. Every few seconds he'll burst into a new round of giggles, and it leaves Eddie feeling lighter than he has all week.

"You're a mess," Richie says, patting Stan's cheek, getting him a weak protest and flapping hands trying to push him away.

Eddie pushes the two of them over, and begins to pull all the pillows and blankets off the bed. "What're you doing?" Richie asks, now sat on the floor with Stan.

"Pillow fort," is all Eddie says, but it gets him a 'whoop' of excitement from Richie, who gets up to help.

After almost ten minutes of rearranging furniture, and stacking all their soft items, they finally have a half decent fort, just big enough for three fully grown men.

They climb inside, and Eddie somehow ends up in the middle this time. They lie down in the dark, Stan with his head on Eddie's shoulder, and Richie curled around his right arm.

Eddie stretches out his fingers, trying to determine whether or not this position is going to end with him having a dead arm, but Richie mistakes his movement for something else. Eddie is surprised to find Richie slipping his hand into Eddie's once again, but he isn't going to complain. _Now or ever,_ he thinks to himself. He turns his head and smiles at Richie, who gives him the shyest smile Eddie has ever seen on him, in return.

"Are you guys being gay, again?" Stan asks, and if Eddie wasn't lying down, he would have jumped.

"Always, Stanley," Richie replies, and does something he hasn't done since they were kids. "I can't help it when Eddie is just so... cute cute cute!" He pinches Eddie's check with his free hand, and mimics the high pitched voice he used to have.

Stan starts to laugh again, even as Eddie bats Richie's hand away. "Stop that!" He complains, but it's ruined by his smile.

"No can do, Eddie Spaghetti! It's true," he smirks, and curls in closer to Eddie's side. Eddie sighs, as if he's put out, but both Stan and Richie know it's not true.

"So, when's Staniel Junior due?" Richie asks, looking over Eddie at Stan.

Stan smiles, "end of December. Just before Patty's birthday."

Eddie smiles, and moves so his head is resting against Stan's. "D'you know the gender yet?"

Stan shakes his head slightly. "No, not yet. Not for a while," he says, but he still sounds extremely happy.

"We better be meeting Patty and the kid as soon as possible, man," Richie says. "Now you remember us, you have no excuse."

Stan laughs into Eddie's shoulder. "Oh no, who are you guys? What am I doing here?" He asks, and Eddie laughs too.

"Oh fuck you dude," Richie says, but he's laughing too.

"I still can't believe you're an accountant," Eddie says, after some time has passed in soft silence. "That's an even more boring job than mine sounds."

"What do you mean 'sounds'?" Richie asks, "it definitely is!"

Stan speaks up before Eddie can. "I get to work from home. Plus, I've always been good with numbers."

Eddie huffs out a breath that ruffles Stan's hair. "Yeah, well I'm basically a glorified chauffeur. Beat that, Stan." Both Richie and Stan laugh at that, Richie shaking as he tries to hold it in.

"Please never call yourself a glorified chauffeur again, I'm begging you," Richie says, and Eddie blushes in embarrassment.

"You know what I meant!" He cries, and the others laugh again.

They continue on like this for much of the night, until Stan is yawning more than speaking. They decide that if they have to get up early tomorrow, it might be worth getting at least a few hours sleep in.

Stan, having rolled into a ball with his back to Eddie, snores quietly, the sound more calming than Eddie would have imagined. He and Richie are lying on their sides, facing each other, even though they haven't spoken in a few minutes now.

"What?" Eddie eventually asks, voice barely even a whisper. There's something about lying in the dark, Stan sleeping at his back, that makes him reluctant to break the silence.

"What, what?" Richie asks, smile small but full of joy.

Eddie rolls his eyes again, but holds tighter onto Richie's hands, which are resting in between their chests. "You're looking at me funny," Eddie says.

"Yeah?" Richie asks, "well, so are you." 

Eddie smiles. "Maybe you've just got a funny face," he says.

"Not as hilarious as yours," Richie says back, and Eddie has to stop himself from laughing.

"Missed you," Eddie says, eventually, softer than he meant it to be.

"Missed you too," Richie says, so quietly it's almost a sigh.

"I'm glad we're doing this together," Eddie says, looking down at their joint hands.

"Me too," Richie replies, interrupted briefly by a yawn. "There's no one else I'd rather have fighting by my side."

Eddie looks back up at his friend's face. "Richie?" He asks. Richie hums in response, his eyes slipping closed. "Do you... You haven't mentioned anyone waiting for you. In LA."

It's not a question, not really, but Eddie is still waiting for an answer. Richie blinks his eyes open again.

"'Cause there isn't anyone," he mumbles, sleep making his eyelids heavy, even as he appears to be fighting to keep them open.

"No one at all?" Eddie says, even quieter than before. "Not friends? No boyfriend?"

Richie shakes his head, eyes closing again. "No one at all," he repeats, and after a few more seconds, he finally loses his battle with sleep, his grip going lax around Eddie's hands.

Eddie spends another ten minutes awake, just thinking about that, before sleep takes him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: minor character death, blood, mentions to wounds/wound treatment, drinking, homophobia, internalised homophobia, mentions of munchausen by proxy, and vomit.
> 
> Thank you for reading, everyone, all your comments really made my day. Hope you liked this chapter too!


	3. Time Marches On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the sewers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I am so sorry that it has been eight months but I have ADHD. Yeah that's the only excuse I have I am very sorry here have an extra long chapter to make up for it somewhat. I say extra long, it's almost as many words as the last two chapters combined. Please accept my apology.
> 
> See end notes for content warnings.

Eddie had always been an early riser, and his job had only made it more apparent. He groaned, eyes heavy, as he woke up, the first sounds of bird song welcoming him into the new day.

He was curled up on his side, which wasn't that strange. What was strange was the warm breath blowing over his forehead, ruffling his hair with every exhale. A long arm was wrapped round his waist, and an even longer leg was curled around his own.

Eddie blinked a few times, eyes blurry from sleep, but he didn't need to see to be able to figure out who was holding him.

He smiled, heart and face warm, and curled his fingers into Richie's shirt, breathing in the scent of his cologne and his sweat, and then wondering to himself why it smelt like home when he really should have been disgusted.

He lay there for a few moments, content with the world. He knew it couldn't last long though, dread filling him with the thought of what was to come, today. Finally, with a sigh, he pulled away. They would all have to be getting up soon, and while Eddie wanted to lie here in Richie's embrace for as long as possible, he knew there was something he needed to do first.

He pulled away gently, but he needn't have worried, Richie was an incredibly deep sleeper when he wanted to be. Eddie looked over at Stan, no longer curled into a ball, but stretched out on his side. He looked a lot more peaceful like this, Eddie thought.

He crawled out of the pillow fort, careful not to knock it over, and made his way back to his own room, quickly showering and changing. By the time he was ready, his watch read 6:15 am, and sunrise was only a few minutes away, judging by the pale shade of the horizon. Pulling on his shoes, and grabbing his wallet and car keys, Eddie made his way outside. The day was already beginning to warm, something telling him it would be bright and sunny before long. At least, if It wasn't dead, they would get to have a nice day for their possible last. He leaves the car park carefully, and makes his way to the only Starbucks in Derry, thanking his cursed memory for bring him back some of the strangest things.

Eddie leaves the shop with six coffees and one tea, made to the orders his friends preferred in high school. The drive back to the Inn takes slightly longer than the drive out, as he tries not to spill anything, but he makes it just as the sun becomes fully visible over Derry's short skyline.

He makes his way back up the stairs, drink trays balanced in his hands. He climbs the creaky stairs as quietly as possible, and heads for the door across the hall from his own, kicking it with his foot. A few seconds later it opens a crack, and then fully, when Bev sees his face.

She's still in her pyjamas, a tank top and long bottoms, and Eddie can very clearly see the bruises and welts covering her arms. He doesn't know for sure if they'll have time to talk about it later, but he can see in her eyes that she definitely doesn't want to talk about it right now.

He swallows his concerns, and lifts the drinks so she can see them. "Can I come in?" He asks, and she smiles and nods.

Pulling the door wide, he enters, the soft click of it closing a few seconds later, as Bev follows him into the room. Eddie has to stifle a laugh as he sees Ben, sprawled out over the bed, snoring just quiet enough to not be heard from the corridor.

"I got coffee," Eddie says, putting the cardboard carriers down on the bedside table so he can pull out two cups. "Hope your tastes haven't changed since high school."

Bev smiles, wide. "Thank you, Eds," she says, stepping forward to accept her cup, leaving the other one on the table. "That was really sweet of you."

Eddie returns her smile, and shrugs. "It's no problem, really. Saves me a stop by your room as well," Eddie says, nodding at Ben. Bev blushes, but doesn't comment on it. Eddie suspects it's for a similar reason he and Richie stayed with Stan. They had all missed each other, and with last nights argument, of sorts, they must have all been wanting someone to hold. "Anyway, better get going before these get cold," Eddie says, reclaiming the two mostly-filled cup holders. "See you soon."

"See ya', Eddie," Bev says, taking him to the door and holding it open for him. They smile at each other once again, Bev's eyes soft as Eddie re-enters the hallway.

He makes his way to Bill's room next, where he suspects Mike has likely stayed the night, rather than trying to return to the library. He kicks the door again, and has to wait a bit longer this time before it opens.

Bill is already dressed, when the door swings open. He looks surprised, for just a moment, and then his expression shutters. Eddie lifts his coffees again, like he did with Bev, and the surprise is back. They don't exchange a word as Eddie enters the room, and finds Mike awake also, sat up on Bill's bed.

"Here," Eddie says, putting the carrier down on the edge of the poorly made bed. "I'm..." He stops, taking a deep breath, unable to meet the eyes of his friends. "I'm sorry, for shouting at you. And walking out, last night." He looks away, holding the last three cups close to his chest.

Bill puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder, a small smile on his face. "I know you're scared, Eddie. We all are."

Mike speaks up then, nodding in agreement with Bill. "We are. I'm sorry too, for lying to you. And everything else," he says, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"To be fair," Eddie says, relief loosening something in his chest. He smirks, slightly, continuing, "you have been stuck in Derry your whole life. That's enough to drive anyone to madness, nevermind that you're chasing a killer clown too." Bill laughs, and Mike smiles, fuller this time.

"Thanks, Eddie," Bill says, squeezing his shoulder before moving over to Mike.

"Well, wait till you try it to thank me," Eddie says, gesturing at the cup Bill is pullling from its cardboard holder. "It's the same order you were using when we last knew each other, and I don't know if you've gotten to actually understand the joy of coffee yet."

Mike snorts, and Bill rolls his eyes. "Coffee still sucks, don't worry."

"Thanks again, Eddie," Mike says, voice soft, and Eddie relaxes.

"See you later," he says, and then leaves the room.

He makes his way across the hall, small smile on his face, and into Richie's room. It's still quiet, but with the sun beginning to shine, Eddie notes that the pillow fort is seconds away from falling apart. With a smirk, he puts down the coffee on Richie's bedside table, before moving over to the fort.

With a single swat of his hand, the whole structure comes crumbling. Muffled shouts come from within, as Richie and Stan are rudely awakened, and Eddie laughs hard, clutching his stomach.

Stan is the first to escape, and he glares hard at Eddie, but it isn't as effective with a baby blue blanket covering his curls. "You're an ass," he says, as he finally pulls himself free. Richie's own curses are still muffled under the blanket, though Eddie can see his feet kicking wildly. "Fuck, where's my kippah," Stan mutters to himself, rifling through the mess of blankets and pillows.

Eddie calms down enough to move forward and yank the duvet from Richie's struggling form. He almost takes a foot to the face for his trouble, but Richie misses his mark. "I'll get you for this one, Kaspbrak!"

Eddie giggles, turning back to Stan, who has managed to find his kippah among the blankets. "I got coffee," he says with a smile, and both of his friends' faces light up.

"Where?" Stan demands, and Eddie reaches over to grab the coffee carrier. He takes his own cup out, and hands over the tray to Stan.

"The one on the left is Richie's," he says, and Stan picks his cup out. Richie rights himself, squinting up at them, eyes surprisingly small without his glasses. He reaches out with one hand to accept the coffee Stan hands him.

There's a few seconds of silence, the men each taking a sip of their warm coffee, before Richie speaks up. "You're forgiven," he says, like he had been debating it for a while, and Eddie starts to laugh again.

"When did you have time to do this?" Richie asks, a few moments and a few nore mouthfuls into his coffee later. He pulls out his phone, unlocking it before his eyes go wide as he sees the time. "Jesus, Eds, it's barely past 6:30, when the fuck did you get up?"

Stan groans, "that explains why my head is pounding, then."

Eddie shakes his head, "no, that would be the copious amount of alcohol you drank last night."

"Shut the fuck up, Eddie," Stan says back, taking a large gulp of his coffee.

Eddie turns back to Richie with a smile, "I got up just after six. Saw a Starbucks on my way into town, it's only a ten minute round trip from here."

Richie grins, setting his coffee down on the floor so he can make his way out of the blanket nest, moving straight to Eddie's side. "Aww, Eds, you really do love me!" He says, and tries to plant a sloppy kiss on Eddie's cheek.

"Get away!" Eddie says, but he's laughing, even as he pushes at Richie's face with his free hand. "Don't call me Eds, you little shit!"

"Little, huh?" Richie says, and then suddenly there are arms around his thighs and Eddie is being lifted straight up.

His head almost bangs into the ceiling, but he ducks just in time. "Watch my coffee!" He cries, voice going high.

Richie begins to laugh, and Eddie can feel the vibrations where his stomach rests against Richie's chest. "Who's little, Eds?"

"Fuck you, Rich!" Eddie says, but he's grinning down at the top of Richie's head.

Stan is still sat on the ground, smirking up at the two of them. "Yes, yes, you have big dick energy, Richie. Now put Eddie down before you break something."

Richie laughs, but complies, and just as his feet reach the ground again, Richie smacks Eddie's ass. In an effort to save his coffee, all Eddie can do is stumble away, glaring at Richie as he goes, flipping him the bird when they're a safe distance away from each other.

Richie ignores him, turning to face Stan. "How'd you know what big dick energy even is, Stanny? Not that you're wrong, but I thought you would be too old to know the lingo of today's youth."

Stan throws a pillow at him, and Richie yelps as he tries to duck out the way. He instead takes the pillow to the face, and almost kicks his coffee over whilst he's at it. "You're older than me, dick."

Eddie laughs at them both, but the thought of what they have to do today is beginning to weigh on him. He runs a hand through his hair, and takes a long sip from his coffee, which is starting to get a touch too cold. With a sigh, he decides that he definitely is not adding 'had to drink cold coffee' to his list of things that could go wrong today. He tilts the cup back, and in a few big gulps, manages to finish the latte in one go.

"Damn Eddie," Richie says, when Eddie takes the cup away from his face. "You okay?"

Stan snorts. "We're going into the dirtiest place in Derry, Rich, of course he's not okay."

Eddie rolls his eyes, but it's only partially true. He really doesn't want that clown to still be alive.

"Speaking of," Eddie says. "We're supposed to be leaving soon, and you two still aren't dressed."

Richie groans loudly, as if this is the worst news he's ever received. "It's not even 7 am, why do we have to leave so early?"

"'Cause Bill said so," Stan says, getting up off the floor and stretching. "I'll see you guys downstairs," he says, and then he's gone, the door to Richie's room closing with a click behind him.

Richie looks between the door and Eddie, before shrugging. "He's just like I was, back in the old days," Richie says, trying and failing to sound like a weary old man. "Always fast out the door, off to fuck your mom-"

Eddie throws his empty cup at Richie's head, and it bounces off his chin. "Shut the fuck up, Rich," he says, but he's trying not to laugh.

Richie rubs at his chin, frown clearly put on. "Dude, when are you going to accept that I'm fucking your-" this time Eddie throws the nearest object he can reach, which just so happens to be Richie's glasses. They fall short, hitting Richie in the shoulder, before falling to the floor. Richie bends over, picking them up, and slides them onto his face, before continuing like nothing has happened. "-your mom, I'm fucking your mom, Eddie."

Eddie, realising that throwing things is having little effect, moves to Richie's side himself. In seconds they're rolling around on the floor, laughing, as they alternate between tickling each other and play wrestling. Richie continues trying to goad him, until he's too breathless to continue.

Eventually, after a few minutes, they begin to calm down, and Eddie finds himself lying on top of Richie, grins stretched wide across both their faces. They're both breathing heavily, clothes and hair a mess, and Eddie's sure if anyone walked in on them right now they would definitely get the wrong impression.

It's with that thought that Eddie pushes himself away, smile falling from his face, so that he and Richie are no longer breathing the same air. He hopes Richie thinks his red face is due to rolling around the floor, rather than thinking about other reasons they might have for doing so.

"I should- I should probably leave you to get ready." Eddie says, brushing himself off as he stands up. Richie is still breathing heavily, looking up at him with wide eyes. There's a second of tension, before Eddie breaks the eye contact. "If you can even get dressed by yourself, that is," Eddie says, trying to joke, but it falls short. There's another short pause before Richie laughs, quietly, and slightly stillted, getting to his feet now too.

They look each other over, and then Richie says, "right." Eddie parrots it back to him, and hates how awkward it all feels. Richie is his best friend; this wasn't supposed to happen.

Eddie leaves the room quickly, and goes back to his own, only to sit down heavily on the bed. He runs his hands over his face, the lack of sleep and awkward interaction, along with the stress over what they'll be doing today, makes breathing difficult. He desperately wants to grab his inhaler, but he knows it won't help, which removes it's only benefit in the first place.

He thinks about the way Richie had looked up at him, and suddenly feels sick to his stomach. Why does he want that? He can't- he shouldn't- he knows better, now. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to forget the look on Richie's face, but it's a useless cause.

His hands shake, and he yanks on his hair, pulling hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. His brain is running far too quickly, he can barely keep up with his own thoughts. They circle round and round, flicking between Richie, and the stupid clown, and the friends he hasn't years, to Myra, his mother, things he would rather have forgotten. His heart is rabbit fast, filled with an anxiety he doesn't know how to deal with. He closes his eyes as hard as he can, light flaring in his vision.

He stays like that for a while, but he has no concept of time to tell him how long has passed. He doesn't uncurl until a knock comes at the door, Bev's voice asking if he's ready to go. He coughs, trying to clear his throat, before answering. "Y-yeah, just, uh, give me a minute!"

Bev doesn't respond, and so Eddie stands, making his way back over to his suitcase. With shaking hands, he grabs his fanny pack, and stuffs some first aid supplies in it, and, at the last moment, grabs his inhaler. He clips it on to his belt, and then leaves the room, smiling at Bev who is waiting just outside his door.

"The others are all downstairs," she says, and he nods. She reaches out, gently touching his face, wiping her thumb across his cheekbone. "You okay?" She asks, softer than before.

He nods again, and says, "yeah. Yeah, I'm just-" he laughs, but it's full of nerves, "-just scared shitless."

She pulls him into her side, arm wrapped around his shoulders. "Don't worry, Eddie," she says, "we all are."

They come down the stairs to a much more somber atmosphere. Richie, at least, is trying to crack jokes and keep things light, but Stan looks on the verge of a panic attack, and Bill has his expression set in determined seriousness. Mike, at least, is listening to Richie, even if he's not reacting much. The only one who seems to be making a similar level of effort is Ben, who occasionally shoots back his own response, even if it doesn't seem to be working quite as well with Richie's humour as it usually does.

Stan is the first to see them approaching, and he manages to elbow both Richie and Ben in one go. Eddie smiles at the two men, who take a step back from the small blonde they had been crowding, and watches as their expressions light up in almost the exact same way when they see who is coming down the stairs. He looks over at Bev, who glances back at him, and they both share a small smile.

"Eduardo! Andalé!" Richie says, gesturing at the door, looking about ready to run to the Neibolt house. Eddie rolls his eyes, moving over to stand by Richie's side, in the space Stan is quickly vacating.

Stan moves instead to stand next to Bill, but when they make eye contact, Eddie receives a worried look. Eddie smiles, hoping to reassure him somewhat, but he isn't sure it works, considering his own fear feels like it is obvious.

The group head outside to the parking lot, and they split into two. Ben unlocks his truck, Stan and Bev climbing in, leaving Bill to take Mike, Richie and Eddie. Eddie snags the seat behind Bill, remembering that Bill likes to sit practically on the pedals when driving. He smirks at Richie, who's in the front seat, and gets an eye roll in return. Mike is forced into the back, and he practically has his legs around his ears with how little room there is between him and the back of Richie's seat. Eddie laughs at him when Richie moves his seat forward slightly, and he let's out a sigh like it was his lungs being crushed, rather than his knees.

They ride to the Neibolt house in near silence. The radio is playing, but it goes to static every few seconds, until eventually Richie turns it off. The closer they get, the heavier the atmosphere becomes, until Eddie has his finger nails digging into his jeans, and is trying not to bite clean through his tongue. Ben's truck is already there when they pull up, and they park next to him, across the road from the Neibolt.

The house somehow looks almost exactly the same as it did when they were kids, the early morning light reflecting on the broken windows. When Eddie gets out the car, it's to see Stan bent over on the sidewalk, Bev leaning over him and rubbing his back, and Ben with his hands in Stan's hair. Eddie notes the vomit on the ground, and thinks gross, immediately followed by, oh shit, am I going to vomit?

Richie steps round the car at that moment, hand coming down slightly too hard on Eddie's shoulder. He looks worried, behind his usual smile, staring at Stan across the street and then up at the Neibolt house. "Come on," Bill says, and they all cross together.

Ben has helped Stan back to his feet by the time they are all back together again, but he still looks pale. "You alright?" Bill asks, reaching out to press a hand to Stan's face. Eddie smiles, and turns his head so the others won't see it. He's glad that despite Stan's walking out on them last night, Bill still cares about him. It's been so long since he has been witness, or subject, to so much physical affection.

Stan quickly regains his colour, after being on the receiving end of Bill's attention. They all know they would do anything for Bill, and that means putting aside their fears and misgivings to follow him blindly into the dark, or in this case, the Neibolt house.

They gather around the steps, looking through the over grown grass and weeds, and up into the dark, and far too quiet, house. Bev picks up an old, broken part of the fence, which may even be the same one she had used on Pennywise when they were all young. She tosses it between her hands, consideringly, before tucking it through her belt loops.

Bill takes a few short strides up the stairs, turning to face them all. The wooden porch creaks under the sudden change, but doesn't give. "Back again," he says, looking over them all, and Eddie steels himself for whatever might come next. "I know that you probably killed It, Eddie," he says, and Eddie wishes he had even half the confidence Bill has in him. "But we're going to check. And if Pennywise isn't dead, then we'll have to make sure It is before we can leave Derry." He takes a deep breath. "I think Richie said it best, last time we were here."

All eyes go to Richie, who thinks back. "Uh, I don't want to die?" He says, confused.

"No," Bill says, still holding his serious air, "not that."

Richie pauses again, and then even more incredulously than before, says, "you guys are lucky we aren't measuring dicks?"

Eddie hides a snort with his hand, and Bill sighs, like he's dealing with a child, rather than a 40 year old man. "No, Richie."

"Now I have to kill this fucking clown?" He asks and, at last, Bill smiles. "Let's kill this fucking clown," Richie says, this time with confidence, and the group gathers behind him and Bill.

They enter the house, and Eddie feels a chill creep across his skin. He remembers the last time he was here in bits and pieces. Pain, fear, and 27 years of distance has left him guessing at what really happened that day. All he does know, he thinks as he crosses the threshold, is that they will be lucky if all they leave here with is a broken arm. 

Richie and Bill have taken the lead, and Stan is following nervously behind them. Eddie knows that Stan hadn't wanted to come back, that he had been the most resistant to returning to the sewers, and even Derry, and Eddie figured it made sense. Stan had remembered It as soon as Mike had phoned, and they had collectively put it down to his exposure to the deadlights, when Pennywise had It's jaws around his face as kids. Eddie admires Stan's bravery. If he had known about the clown before even returning to Derry, he can't say with certainty he would have come.

They continue slowly into the house, treading carefully, everyone on high alert for any movement. Eddie hears footsteps, and spins round, shinning his torch down a corridor, but there's nothing there.

He turns back, and sees that Richie has made it to the other side of the room, Bev and Stan on either side of him. They're by the door to the kitchen, and Eddie distinctly remembers the broken table that sits in the middle of it. He catches a glimpse of Bill through the open door.

He turns past them, looking further down the corridor he stands in, and sees Ben and Mike, at the back of the group. Fear grips him for a second, when he realises how far he is from everyone else, sending his heart into overdrive, and so he quickly makes his way towards them. He catches up easily, grabbing onto Ben's sleeve, but, before he can say anything, the door into the kitchen slams shut, trapping the three of them in the front hall.

Eddie, in a panic, reaches out to grasp the handle. Before he's even half way there, however, Ben begins to scream. He rips his arm away from Eddie's grip, his hands going to his stomach, doubling over himself. From next door, shouts can be heard, Richie and Bev being the loudest, but he can barely make them out despite the thin wood between them. Eddie hears Ben's name a few times, before they're suddenly cut off by more distant screaming.

Fear makes Eddie's blood run cold, as he forces himself to turn away from the door and face Ben. Mike is already by his side, helping him down to the floor. Mike's face is paler than usual, but Ben's is worse. Eddie is frozen in place, trapped between his friends who are screaming in fear, and the one screaming in pain.

"Eddie," Mike says, barely able to be heard over Ben. Eddie manages to turn his eyes on him; Mike's face is hard, but he's the only one not shouting. Eddie is drawn to his sense of calm. "Eddie, we need to help Ben," he continues, and Eddie closes his eyes. He presses his fingers into his right forearm, where it got broken all those years ago. He breathes in, and the air tastes like dust, ash and copper.

He opens his eyes again and makes his way across the room. He crouches in front of Ben, pulling his friend's shaking hands aside so he can pull up his shirt. There, he can make out a shaky 'H,' which has been carved over the scar Ben already has. It's not bleeding, which is the first thing Eddie notes, the second being that it is quickly being joined by a 'U'.

He knows it's Pennywise. Who else could it be? But that doesn't make dealing with the fact he's failed his friends any easier. He thought he had killed It in the pharmacy, had gotten his friends hopes up, and yet here they are, with undeniable proof that Eddie was just too weak to finish the job.

"Eddie," Mike says, and Eddie looks up at him. There's fear in his eyes too, but that's not all that important right now, not when they're all afraid. No, it's the trust there, that hits Eddie hard in the chest.

Eddie looks back down at Ben's stomach as the 'U' comes to an end. It's just as wobbly as the first letter, and Eddie pauses. He thought maybe the clown was toying with them, moving slowly as some sort of sick, prolonged torture. But watching as the lines shake onto Ben's skin, Eddie realises something else. Something that give him a small sense of hope. It's struggling, like it lacks the energy to get It's message across any faster.

Eddie looks around for anything he could use to defend himself, or even just a clue on what to do next, when something red flashes in the corner of his eye. He spins around, eyes finding the massive mirror over the mantle, and there is Pennywise. It's looking down over Ben's shoulder, knife in pale, shaking hand, as it cuts through Eddie's friend. He notes, almost subconsciously, that It looks sickly, gaunt and tired in comparison to how he had seen it before. He almost believes It's feeding into his own fear of illness, just like the Leper, when he notices that Pennywise hasn't even realised he's looking straight at him.

Eddie stands, and Mike calls his name again, but he doesn't listen. There is no time to delay, he thinks, I have to make this right. I have to finish the job.

Eddie moves forward as fast as he dares, but still Pennywise doesn't look up. There's an 'R', now, he see beginning to take shape on Ben's stomach in the reflection. Eddie doesn't give him time to finish.

He slams his fist into the mirror, shattering it easily. Pennywise looks up through the shards, eyes catching Eddie's. Eddie slams his fist into the mirror again, and Pennywise frantically returns to his work. Eddie slams his fist into the shards another two times, before the mirror falls from it's frame, sending reflective glass and metal to the ground with a resounding crash.

Eddie returns to Ben's side, and finds the letters on his stomach already beginning to fade. He's panting, but shakes his head when Eddie asks him if he's in pain. The word 'HURT' is written hastily across his body, but by the time the door to the kitchen is knocked off its hinges, it's gone.

Eddie looks up at the bang of the kitchen door hitting old wood, and sees Bev, leg still outsretched. She runs towards them, and the others follow, close on her heels. Bev drops to her knees at Eddie's side, worry coating her voice as she speaks to Ben. "What happened?! We heard you screaming, are you okay? Ben?"

Eddie flinches when he feels a hand rest on his shoulder, but quickly relaxes when he looks up and sees Richie. His eyes are scanning over everyone else, checking them for injury, before he finally looks down and meets Eddie's gaze. He gives a small, tight smile, and squeezes Eddie's shoulder.

"I don't know, Bev," Ben finally says, after Bev asks him again what happened. "It was Eddie who stopped him. Seems to be a running theme, huh?" Ben jokes, but he still sounds tired, and sweat coats his face. Eddie would blush under the attention that is suddenly turned on him, if not for the fact that he feels kind of floaty at the moment.

'You'll float too!'

He shakes his head, and turns to Bev, giving her a small shrug. "I saw Pennywise, in the mirror. Thought I should break the mirror. It really isn't that impressive, guys."

Richie ruffles his hair, and Eddie swats at his hand. Before anyone can say anything else, Richie grabs Eddie's wrist in a tighter hold than he was expecting. "What happened?" Richie says, voice softer than it usually is. Eddie looks up, at the hand being held above his head, and sees blood is dripping down his fingers. His expression must say something, because a second later Bev has a hand against his shoulder, as if to prop him up.

Eddie blinks at his own hand for a few seconds, before saying, "I told you, I broke the mirror."

The Losers re-organise themselves, so they're stood, or sat, around the main room in a loose circle. Eddie is still on the floor, Richie holding his first aid supplies as Eddie bandages his own hand. Ben is no longer pale and shaking, so Bill and Mike help him to his feet. Bev is speaking with them quietly, plans changing now that they know Pennywise really isn't dead. Stan is tucked into Mike's side, his arm wrapped around Stan's shoulders. He isn't speaking, and Eddie can tell from the look in his eyes that he clocked out a few minutes ago. He hasn't looked this vacant since their night at the Jade, and Eddie is worried.

Eddie ties off the bandage, and notes spots of blood are already beginning to show through. He doesn't have time to redo them, though, so he gets to his feet. Richie is by his side, hand wrapped loosely around his elbow, and they go to stand next to Stan and Mike.

Eddie, moving his hand slowly through Stan's vision, carefully places his uninjured hand on his friend's arm. Stan blinks at him for a few seconds, before giving him a small, emotionless smile, and then he turns, looking away. He takes a deep, shuddering, breath, but he seems a bit more present now. Eddie leaves his hand where it is, and tunes into the conversation.

"I'll explain it all properly on our way down," Mike says, looking over them. "We need to move fast; if It already knows we're here, we don't have time to waste."

They gather any dropped items, and make their way together towards the well room. Stan has collected himself by the time they are gathered around the crumbling stone, and Eddie feels a bit more comfortable leaving his side to stand next to Richie once more. He should be safe with Bill and Mike, Eddie thinks.

Eddie leans over, looking down into the dark of the well. He feels cold, knowing that at any moment Pennywise could jump out at them, that they are willingly going to wander into his dark and wet lair. He shivers under the weight of a stare. He doesn't know if it is real, or imagined.

A hand on his collar pulls him back, and Eddie suddenly realises how close to the edge he had actually been.

"Be careful," Ben says, quiet, still gripping Eddie's shirt loosely.

Eddie nods, taking a step back, and Ben relaxes his grip. He still feels cold, but it's easier to ignore now, with the slight heat of Ben's hand against the nape of his neck.

"Ready?" Bill asks, pulling ropes out of his bag, abandoned on the floor, and secures them around the railings of the staircase on the opposite side of the room.

There's murmured agreement, and Bill clearly decides that's the best he's going to get. "R-r-right then, d-down the hole."

It is as cold and wet as Eddie was expecting. He shoes slap against the concrete, barely enough protection for his damp feet, squelching slightly after their trip through knee high grey water. Eddie tucks his hands under his arms, silently cursing Bill and Mike for their plans, and himself for following them.

Behind him are Richie and Bev, talking quietly amongst themselves. In front of him is Ben, and then Stan, and right at the front are Bill and Mike, shoulders brushing as they walk side by side in the cramped sewer tunnel.

Eddie sighs, breath fogging in front of his face for half a second before it disipates into the air around him. He takes a deep, cold, breath in through his nose, and instantly regrets it as he tries not to gag on the scent of seweage, grey water, and decay.

Ahead, Mike's voice begins to echo down the tunnel towards him. "The tokens you brought, you all have them?"

No one objects, and so Mike continues. "The ritual was taught to me by the natives, who's land this originally was. If, using the drum I have brought, we burn the tokens as offerings, then the light which is It's spirit should appear."

There's an uneasy silence, for a few seconds, filled only by wet shoes on wet concrete. Then, Richie speaks up. "What so, we put on a light show? Then what? How do you defeat light?"

"There's a... a chant," Mike says at length. Richie groans, and Bev smacks his arm. "If we believe, if we work together, we should be able to surpress the light, and capture it within the drum."

Silence follows his statement. They continue on, sewer only illuminated by their flashlights and head torches.

After a few moments Eddie feels someone approach from behind. He turns, glancing over his shoulder, and finds Bev there next to him. He glances between her and Richie, but the other man is clearly distracted. By what, Eddie isn't sure, but as long as the gangly comedian continues to trail behind them, Eddie is alright with leaving him be, for now.

"Hey, Bev," he greets instead, and gets a small smile in return.

"Hia Eddie," she says, just as quietly. The damp of the walls, the dripping of water against stone, and the distant sound of rushing water, serve to stop their voices carrying too much in the sewer, as long as they speak lowly.

They bump shoulders on every other step, but neither moves away. Eddie wants to speak to Bev, wants to ask a million things, wants to know her the way he once did as a child. He has missed her, in all their years apart, but now he isn't quite sure how to fill the gaps.

It seems Bev is thinking something similar, as she opens her mouth a few times, looking ready to say something, but closes it again before she can. They walk in strained silence for a minute more, before finally, she manages to break the silence.

"So, you got married?" She asks, sound muffled by the damp walls and starngr atmosphere.

Eddie turns away from her face, looking down at his feet. "Yeah, almost ten years ago, now," he says. He is suddenly aware of how unhappy he sounds, and wishes he could take it back.

"What's their name?" Bev asks.

"Myra," he replies, trying to think of some way to change the topic without it being obvious.

"That's a nice name," Bev says, seemigly sensing the tension in the air.

"Yeah," Eddie says, rubbing his arm. "I guess so."

They laspe back into silence for a few long seconds, before Eddie breaks it once more. "You married?"

Bev doesn't reply immediately. He looks up, scanning her profile, and see her pinched brows as she looks into the middle distance. "Technically," she says.

"Divorce?" Eddie asks, even quieter than before.

"Applying when we get out of here," she says, the fingers of her right hand wrapping around her left wrist. Eddie follows the movement, and his eyes land on the marks across her arms, still fading.

He glances over his shoulder, and sees Richie has fallen back a bit, but is still following along, as distracted as before. In front, the group of four continues on in the dark.

Eddie returns to looking at Bev. "Did he do this to you?" He asks, afraid of the answer.

Bev looks over at him, but glances away again almodt as quickly. "Henry?" She pauses, fingers trailing gently over a yellow-green bruise, in what might be the shape of large fingers. She let's out a harsh exhale, and shrugs, clearly unsure how to respond.

Eddie is also lost, but his mouth gets the better of him. "He hurts you? Henry?"

Bev snorts, a weak imitation of a laugh, and Eddie's heart drops even further. "I realised, when Mike called. I had never married Henry," she says, sounding angry, and tired, and sad. "I married my father."

Eddie hears faint ringing in his ears. Shit. He looks away, trying to compose himself as he watches his feet once more.

"I'm sorry," he says, searching for the words he needs. "That you had to go through that. Again."

Bev shrugs, bumping their shoulders together. "It's not alright, but at least I know, now. I'm not going back to him, when this is over."

Eddie nods, relieved. "That's- that's good."

Bev sighs, before speaking once more. "If anyone understands, it would be you though, huh?"

Eddie freezes, and stumbles over his own feet. The only reason he doesn't go face first into the grey water at their feet is Bev, grabbing his shoulder to help him regain his balance. "Shit," he hisses, grabbing Bev's hand and righting himself. "Thanks."

"No problem," Bev says, and they continue on.

After a few more moments of silence, Eddie finally addresses what Bev said. "I do."

Bev looks over at him, confused, and Eddie quickly clarifies. "Get it, I mean. I understand."

She smiles, small and sad. "The others try, but it wasn't really ever the same for them," she says, glancing forward, eyes lingering on Ben. "They had their problems, and I can't say anyone was actually happy, as kids, but then again it was the same for most of Derry."

She runs a hand through her hair, shaking loose her auburn curls. "But you and I were always different."

Eddie nods, and very carefully takes her hand. It's his injured one, his left, so Bev only gently curls her fingers around his bandages, rather than hold it properly. "Yeah," he says, "we were. We are."

"Myra, is she...?" Bev asks, but doesn't finish the question. She doesn't have to.

Eddie shrugs, the same way Bev had before. Bev squeezes his hand, slightly. "I'm sorry," she says.

"Me too."

They continue on in silence for almost a minute more, hand in hand, when they hear a shout up ahead.

"Watch out!" Comes Bill's call, and Eddie's head whips up. Ahead, Mike and Bill are stood on a ledge, looking into the dark.

After a moment, Mike hands Bill his back pack, and then sits down on the ledge. Eddie watches as he quickly slides into what he realises is water, head dipping out of sight for a moment before he resurfaces. "Jesus," Eddie hisses under his breath. He's going to stink for at least a week, just like last time they entered these sewers.

"Don't worry Eddie Spaghetti," Richie says, clapping a hand on Eddie's shoulder, causing him to jump. "I mean, how many infections could there possibly be in this water?"

Eddie shrugs Richie's hand off, and drops Bev's as well, legs carrying him quickly away. "So not funny," he says, not turning to see Richie's face. Instead, he finds himself between Ben and Stan, standing at the water's edge.

He sighs, as he looks into the dark, removing his fanny pack and holding it in his injured hand. Mike, ahead of them now and almost at the rock island, is just tall enough to walk through the water, even as it rests around his neck. Eddie, one of the shortest members of their group, has no such luck.

As Ben and Stan enter the water before him, Eddie sits down on the ledge, mentally building himself up for this.

He heaves himself into the water, the shocking cold sending the air out of his lungs in a rush. He treads water for a few seconds, managing to regain his ability to breathe, before he moves out towards the rocky outcropping. His progress is slower than the others, as he struggles to swim with one hand above the water, and by the time he reaches the island, Richie and Bev are right behind him.

With a shared push from his friends, Eddie finds himself kneeling on harsh black rock. He quickly pulls himself to his feet, offering down a hand to help up Bev, and then Richie. Once they are finally all on relatively dry land, they gather together around a strange looking manhole. Bill and Mike have a crowbar, and Eddie doesn't even want to ask, as they stand around and watch the two men pry open the entrance to the hole.

Eddie shivers, fear like a vice around his lungs. He stares down into the dark, the chill from earlier wrapping around him like a weight across his shoulders. For a second he can hear nothing over the pounding of his blood in his ears. He is full encased in an overwhelming terror, like a hare staring into the eyes of a wolf.

He is knocked from his trance by Stan, moving forward to drop a rock down the hole. Seconds tick by, Eddie counting along silently, time seeming to drag on, before they hear it clatter to the ground. Eddie breathes out, air bursting forth from his lungs when he realises he has been holding it. "100 feet," he says, barely louder than a whisper.

"B-better get sta-arted then," Bill says, and before he knows it, Eddie is climbing down into the dark.

His head torch shines over his hands, and the wall of rock around him, and despite not having claustrophobia, Eddie starts to feel a little sick.

The sharp walls stick out far enough to make climbing down the ladder relatively arduous, and progress is slow. The cold metal bites into his skin, and soon the knuckles of his left hand ache under the pressure, his torn skin stretching even further.

The light catches something, an indent in the wall. He pauses for only a second, breath catching. 'D I E' is written, scratched into the rock. Eddie starts to descend faster.  
  


By the time he reaches the bottom, the bandage around his hand is more red than white. Eddie itches to change it, but he knows that it's a pointless endeavour at this stage. If he makes it through this fight alive, he can deal with his burning knuckles later.

They group together in the small cavern, huddled close as they wait for Richie, the last person to climb down, to join them. Not a word is spoken, and Eddie tries to ignore to forboding atmosphere that hangs overhead.

Richie drops off the ladder, feet hitting the cave floor loud in the silence. "What's with all the long faces?" He asks, but no one laughs.

He makes his way over to the group, slinging one arm around Eddie's shoulders. "You guys are all so depressing, you would have thought we were walking to our death or something!"

Eddie sends an elbow into Richie's ribs, and he cries out. That finally garners a laugh from Bev, and the tension is broken.

"Come on, this way," Mike says, and they make their way up the slight slope, to where the roof meets the floor of the cave. Eddie is worried that it's a dead end, and Mike has gotten them all lost, but as they get closer he realises there is a slight gap between the rocks.

"Oh fuck no," he says, looking at the crawl space barely big enough for a fully grown man. "No way Mike, no way am I going through there."

"Seconded," Stan says, looking warily at the tight opening.

"We d-d-don't have much ch-choice," Bill says soothingly. "I'll g-go first."

Bill makes his way forward, dropping down onto his stomach and beginning to crawl through. Eddie and the others watch on in anticipation as he pushes his way through slowly, until he disappears from view entirely.

A few seconds later, Bill's voice echoes back to them. "All clear!"

Next through is Bev, then Mike. Stan is hesitant, but with Ben's large hand on his back, he gathers the strength needed to squeeze himself through the small space. Eddie watches him disappear beneath the rock, and it takes everything in him not to just turn around and run the other way.

It'll be hard to escape from here, if we have to run, he thinks. He shakes his head, and follows after Ben.

The space is small, and the rocks around him sharp, and Eddie's fingers ache from the pressure of trying to pull himself through. There's a moment, when his shoulders are just through, that he chokes on his own breath, panic setting in. But before he can start hyperventilating properly, he feels Richie's hands on his legs. "It's okay," he says, soft and gentle, like the night before, when it was just the two of them. "You're almost there. You can do this, you're braver than you think."

Eddie inhales, deep and shaking, and continues on. Within moments he is able to see the cavern floor, and the others gathering around him. With a final tug and wiggle, he pushes himself through, stumbling to his feet.

This part of the cave is bigger than the last, where they barely had room to stand. Now, Eddie can't even see the top, shrouded in darkness that sends cold fear down his spine. He turns when he hears a grunt, and reaches down to grab Richie's hand, helping to drag him the last of the way through the gap, and then up to his feet. "Thanks," he says with a smile, and Eddie knows him well enough to see his nerves, but he returns the smile as best as he can anyway. He let's go of Richie's hand quickly, this time.

With as deep a breath as he can manage, Eddie makes his way towards the others. Richie is by his side, and the rest of the losers are ahead, and for a fleeting moment, he thinks, we're together. We can do this.

They step up towards the raised rock in the center, long black spikes shooting up as if something had crashed here a long time ago. Eddie wonders briefly at the science behind rocks instantly freezing in place like that, but figures he can always look it up when they get out of there. If they get out of there.

The Losers form a small circle, with Mike placing the stolen drum down in the middle of them all. Eddie can see the scratched out side from his position, and thinks on what Mike had said of the last group. He knows it tells the story of the Native people who were killed here, and suddenly he can't take his eyes away, fear locking his gaze.

Mike gets out something from his bag, and Eddie blinks. Suddenly there is a fire burning in the drum, and Mike is stepping back into the circle. "Throw your tokens in," he says, glancing around at them all. Eddie takes a moment to collect himself, hand finding the cool plastic of his inhaler. He remembers the pharmacy, how close he had been to killing It, and hopes this time, with all seven of them together, it will work.

Mike ends up going first, revealing a rock from the infamous Rock War of '89, the first time they had really bonded with Mike. He throws it in, and Eddie frowns, thinking about the likelihood of a rock burning.

They take their turns going round the group, everyone throwing in their memory token, and in Richie's case, an actual token. Stan, stood to Eddie's right, has the best token in Eddie's opinion. Everyone has a good memory of that day in the clubhouse, and everyone smiles even as he throws the plastic, that Eddie knows will be extremely toxic as it burns, into the flames. Ben and Bev also end up having a moment, and the tiny bit of Eddie that is a hopeless romantic can't help the love he feels seeing two of his closest friends connect over their feelings, even if their timing is terrible. His eyes trail over to Richie, stood on his left, and he lets his smile linger a few seconds longer.

Finally, the ritual is complete. A sudden, bright, light fills the cavern, and Eddie's instinct is to look up. There's a second of blinding white, before Mike is screaming at them all not to look. Eddie rips his gaze away, the after image making him almost blind.

Something warm and sweaty brushes over his knuckles, and Eddie stiffens in fear. His eyes are squeezed closed, now, and he doesn't dare open them again, not while his vision is still red from the bright light shining through his eyelids. The warm thing passes by again, and this time he recognises it as Richie's hand. He reaches out, grasping it tightly, beginning to shake as he holds onto his best friend for dear life.

On his other side he reaches out, managing to snag Stan's hand first try. Stan is shaking too, or at least Eddie thinks he is. It's hard to tell with all the bandages wrapped around his knuckles.

Mike is shouting again, somewhere to Eddie's left. "Light into darkness!" He calls, again and again, loud enough for them all to hear. Bev also takes up the chant, and then Bill and Ben do too. With a curse, Eddie starts muttering it under his breath, and Richie and Stan follow suit.

It's when the light is at it's brightest, when Eddie swears he's going to go blind even with his eyes closed, that Stan drops his hand. Eddie gasps in panic, chanting stopping as he reaches out for one of his oldest friends, but he can't find him. Suddenly, the light is receding, and Mike makes a noise that sounds like he's struggling. Eddie turns his head to the floor, opening his eyes enough to see that Mike is kneeling on the ground in front of him. He cries out again, and Eddie looks up to see him trying to push the deadlights into the drum.

He slams his eyes shut again, but tugs on Richie's hand. The two of them stumble forward, and Eddie presses with his free hand on the lid. His fingers get trapped between the drum and someone else's hand, pain shooting up his arm, but he doesn't care. The combined force of the Losers seems to be making some sort of impact, as Eddie can feel It struggling, but ultimately failing.

After almost thirty seconds of terror and effort, they manage to push down just enough that Mike can shut the lid tight.

There's long, stretched out seconds of silence, as the losers stare down at the drum. Eddie's heart beats fast, as he waits for it to move, for Pennywise to jump out like it's a surprise birthday cake. Nothing happens.

Suddenly, hands grab at each other, and they begin to laugh, hysterical with relief. They all sit together, on the floor of the cavern, wrapped in each other's arms, knowing for sure that they've finally defeated It.

They spend an eternity sat on the floor of the cave, no one speaking, before eventually Bill starts to complain of being too old to sit on the ground, and then Richie shoots back that he's definitely an old man now. Bill flips him off, but they all start to get up anyway. Time to head back to the surface, and try and figure out what to do with a captured evil clown spirit.

Eddie's not sure how, exactly, it happens, but he finds himself carrying the drum. He thinks Mike may have handed it to him, at some point, probably to stand up, but he's not really sure, relief having clouded his vision. He is still shaking from adrenaline, and he feels like he might vomit. The box feels heavy, and he somehow ends up at the back of the group, trying to keep up.

He has his fingers curled under the bottom of the drum, but his grip is loose from pain. He tries to catch up, but it feels like an insurmountable task, like something is dragging him back, or like walking through treacle.

Suddenly, the drum moves, enough that Eddie screams. At the same time his foot catches on the uneven surface of the cavern floor, and the blood on his hand allows the drum to slip from his grip. The other losers turn just in time to see Eddie hit the deck hard, the drum hitting the ground and the lid cracking open.

"Eddie!" Someone screams, but Eddie can't figure out who over the rushing in his ears. He looks up, and Pennywise is standing over him, smile far too wide. "Eddie!" Another voice calls, but it's barely a distant echo.

Eddie scrambles back as fast as he can, a trail of blood following him. He sees stark white, his bandage, torn in half and spread across the rocks. Pennywise steps forward, reaching down a long fingered hand to taste the bright red trail. He begins to laugh as he stands back up, and suddenly he is changing. In his place, a half spider, half clown, stands, tall and terrifying.

Eddie manages to find his feet, and goes sprinting the other way. Pennywise is between him and the exit, between him and his friends. Tears are pouring down his face, and he feels like a failure.

The clown chases him, laughing and taunting him, but for once he manages to block out It's words. Maybe it's because his own thoughts are worse.

"Eddie!" Bev screams, and he feels like a drowning man, head bobbing above the water just long enough to hear something other than fast breathing and haunting laughter.

He doesn't dare glance back, though, just runs as fast as he can, dodging between long, sharp legs. The rest of the losers call his name at a particularly close call, spider leg piercing the ground right in front of his face, Eddie almost slipping in his attempt to move out the way fast enough.

And then suddenly, there is Richie's voice.

"Hey, dickhead! Over here!" He calls, and Eddie turns to see Richie up a slope to his left. The other Losers take up the call too, splitting up into pairs to try and draw Pennywise's attention. In It's confusion over who to target, Eddie makes his escape, running faster and faster until he falls to his knees at Richie's side. "Sorry, Eds, but up you get," Richie says, tugging Eddie up by his shirt. He's too breathless to even protest the use of his childhood nickname.

A shout alerts them, and both Eddie and Richie turn just in time to see Pennywise charging them. With a screech, Eddie grabs Richie's hand, and they run down the narrow corridor of rock just behind them. The clawed leg follows, trapping them between Pennywise and three, ominous doors. Richie, obviously recognising the scenario, takes them to the 'Very Scary' door. "Trust me!" He says, yanking open the door.

Eddie slams the door shut seconds later, stomach churning over the sight of half a child's body, that he knows has been here for decades. They turn to the 'Not Very Scary At All' door next, pulling it open together, only to be greeted by a small Pomeranian.

"No, no this is a trap!" Richie says, and Eddie can't help but agree.

"Yeah, we're not falling for the cute puppy trick!" Eddie says. The two share a look, and then glance down at the dog. They repeat this another two times, before Richie says, "he is kinda cute, though."

Eddie sighs, "yeah, he is, isn't he?" They looks at each other again, and suddenly it's as if they've forgotten they were fighting an evil clown alien shape-shifter thirty seconds ago, because dammit there's a cute dog here!

Of course, that is the moment the dog decides to show it's true colours, or in this case, multiple rows of teeth, and Richie and Eddie, screaming, slam the door shut. "Regular scary it is!" Richie shouts, yanking open the last door, and the two of them go running down the corridor it reveals.

After a few seconds the rocky walls curve, and they find themselves running back into the main room. Eddie leans against the wall to catch his breath, trying to prepare himself to start running again, but Richie keeps moving. Down below, Eddie can see Stan struggling to get up, and Bill is running towards him as fast as he can. Mike is currently distracting Pennywise, but it won't last long, not with It's sights set on their downed friend.

"Stan!" Eddie screams, and Stan whips his head round. His eyes go wide, as he sees It approaching, and he pushes himself up to his feet. Eddie can see him limping towards Bill as fast as he can, but Eddie can tell he's not going to make it.

"Oi, you fucking clown!" Richie shouts, and Eddie looks over to find Richie throwing rocks at Pennywise. The monster comes to a stop, growling, and he turns to face Eddie and Richie. Eddie turns fast, almost losing his footing as he drops to the ground, ready to run back down the tunnel. The only problem is, Richie keeps speaking. "You want to play truth or dare?! Well how's this truth for you? You're a sloppy bitch!"

He throws another stone, this time with a cut off yell of, "yippie-ki-yay motherfucker-!"

Eddie turns just in time to see Richie get trapped in the deadlights. "Richie!" He shouts, watching his friend's body begin to hover off the ground, but Pennywise does not release him.

Turning back to the cave wall, Eddie grabs the first sharp object he can find. It's a stalagmite, made of the same hard, dark rock as down below. A few well placed kicks, and sharp tugs later, and Eddie has pulled it free. He turns, and with a wordless yell, not even thinking of himself, throws it straight down Pennywise's throat.

Richie falls, and Eddie runs forward to catch him. He cradles Richie's head between his hands, as he lowers him gently to the ground. He's basically straddling him, at this point, but he doesn't care very much, not when Richie has just come that close to dying before his eyes.

He looks over his shoulder, and sees Pennywise screaming, as It shrinks, falling back and spearing itself on one of the black spikes made by It's own crash landing. Down below, Stan has made it to Bill, and Mike has joined them, the two of them carrying their friend back to Ben and Bev, on the far side of the cave. Eddie barely has time to note that Bev is covered in blood, Ben in dirt, and Bill is dripping water, as his attention goes back to Pennywise.

The clown is almost normal sized, now, and even from a distance, Eddie can tell It looks sickly. Just like in the mirror, earlier, it seems to lack the strength to lift itself up. It screams nonsense as It tries to break free, but is obviously struggling.

Eddie turns back to Richie, who hasn't even stirred. "Richie?" He asks, shaking the man by his shoulders. "Richie, come on! I think I got him this time, really!" Still nothing. Eddie thinks back on their past experience with the deadlights, and feels his face go red. Ben had kissed Bev to free her.

He looks at his friends, and finds none of them looking his way, more distracted by Stan and Pennywise. He looks back to Richie, pale and lifeless, and makes up his mind. If Ben can do it, so can he.

He leans in, and with one last panicked breath, he presses his lips to Richie's. The kiss only lasts a few seconds, and is barely more than light pressure, but Eddie can already feel the butterflies in his stomach pick up speed. He leans back, slightly, and there is a few seconds of nothing but Eddie's own frantic thoughts.

Suddenly, Richie gasps, sitting upright so fast that he headbutts Eddie, hard enough to send him reeling. "Shit!" Richie says, falling back down onto his elbows, as Eddie finds himself sat back on Richie's thighs. They rub their heads, sore, but as soon as Eddie and Richie make eye contact they begin to laugh.

It's while they are laughing, that Eddie realises he can't hear It struggling anymore. He turns, expecting to see a dead body of some sort.

Instead, body turning to face the cavern, he sees a claw go shooting past his face. It hits the ground next to Richie's head, and Eddie has a moment to think, thank fuck we just missed that.

Then he sees Richie's face, and thinks, oh, shit.

Richie is covered in blood. His face is full of horror. His hand, hovering between them, is shaking. Is Richie hurt? Is everything moving slower than before? 

Somewhere distant, he realises someone is screaming. He doesn't think it's him, because he doesn't feel much of anything right now, and so he has no reason to scream. It can't be Richie, either, because his mouth is open, but not moving.

Finally, Eddie realises that he should figure out what's wrong. A glance down shows blood, a lot of blood. So much he can barely even figure out where his own body ends and Pennywise's claw begins. He breathes in, slower than he has in hours, and see his whole chest move away from the claw. Panic is beginning to return, so he looks away.

He finds Richie's eyes easily, as they're mostly white at this point. His broken glasses are splattered with Eddie's blood. He tries to say Richie's name, but he can't hear anything. Richie replies, or at least, Eddie thinks he does, by the movement of his mouth.

Before he can try and focus enough to hear him, pain rips through his whole body. He's swinging wildly through the air now, almost as if It has lost control of his own arm. Maybe it has. He doesn't think he'll last long enough to find out.

Then, there is a period where he is unaware. Not unconscious, exactly, as he is in too much pain to be unconscious, but he doesn't know what's happening outside of his own body anymore.

He is thrown back harshly into the real world, with pain beyond belief. He hits the ground, barely able to even choke as he rolls, down and down until he comes to an even more painful stop. I can't breathe, oh god I can't breathe, is on loop inside his head. He can hear again, now, but all he hears is screaming. He knows for sure, now, that it isn't his, as whoever they are, they're screaming his name.

He blinks his eyes open, and sees the ceiling of the cave above him. It's much closer, now, than it was before. He tries to sit up, to call out, to get back to his feet for just one more round with the devil, but he can't. His left side is screaming in pain, his chest aches, and he still can't breathe.

"Eddie!" Richie screams, and there are small rocks and gravel falling down from above him, somewhere. He tries to turn his head but it hurts too much. He thinks there might be a slope to his right, but he's just guessing at this point. "Eddie!" Richie screams again, and his voice is so full of pain that Eddie can barely stand it.

A face is filling his vision, a second later. It's Richie, covered in blood. His blood. There are tears streaking down his face, cleaning away the mixture of dirt, blood, and sewer water. Eddie looks at his face, and even as filthy as he is, can't help but think, I love you.

He pauses only a moment, about to try and purge the thought from his head, but he stops himself. He's dying. He knows this, can feel it like a sixth sense. He's dying, and so he can think the one thing he had never allowed himself to think in all their years away from Derry, never allowed himself to think before, either.

"Eddie," Richie sobs. He wipes at his grime covered face, dislodging his glasses, but he just makes a smear. Eddie reaches out to try and help him.

Except, instead of lifting his hand, nothing happens. He takes his first, shuddering breath, but it hurts more than suffocating had. I'm already dying, he thinks to himself, because his thoughts feel a lot clearer as soon as he realises any one might be his last. Might as well be paralyzed too.

He tries again, anyway, because he has to, because it's in his nature to do things even when he knows they're useless. This time, when he lifts his right hand, it shakes. It moves, slowly, and then all at once. He cups Richie's face, and it takes all his effort to hold his hand there. Richie must notice, because he covers Eddie's hand with his own. "Eds," Richie whispers. "You're going to be okay, yeah? You have to, Eds."

Eddie doesn't get the chance to respond, to say 'don't call me Eds,' as the others begin to arrive, stumbling and crying, bloody and sweaty.

There's movement, all around him, and it makes him dizzy. Someone begins to put pressure on his chest, but he's too tired to even cry out properly. Instead he just groans in pain, and Richie begins to whisper apologies. His head gets lifted into someone's lap, and he opens his eyes, straining his neck to see Ben, sobbing silently above him. He wonders when his eyes closed, but as he begins to think it he realises they have slipped shut once again. He forces them back open, and sees Bev leaning into view, her head pressed against Ben's. Eddie drops his head forward, and sees Richie, right in front of him. He tries to smile, but he doesn't know if it works. Richie doesn't smile back.

"We need to move," Bill says, grabbing Richie's shoulder. Richie nods, frantic, and as a group, they gather Eddie up into their arms. He does cry out this time, and Richie soothes him, speaking rapid fire once they start moving. Eddie can't really make out what he's saying, but his voice is comforting anyway.

They settle, again, the others frantically discussing what to do. None of them had wanted to face the possibility that Mike's plan wouldn't work, and they hadn't prepared properly. Eddie thinks back, to last night in the library. It feels like both years ago, and minutes. He knows he's going to die.

Then, he thinks, did Pennywise think It was going to die, too? There had been a moment, when he had held that Leper up against the wall, that there had been fear in the clown's eyes. It had struggled. It hadn't wanted to die. Eddie realises, with dawning horror, that Mike had been right. What he had been thinking, as he killed the Leper, had been important. He had killed a part of It, but hadn't killed it in It's true form. Not the form out there. He had believed he could, he had felt, deep in his bones, that he was winning. He had realised, that he could do it, and he had done something that would kill a Leper. It had worked, he had won.

"Richie," he gasps, and the group turns to look at him. "Rich, please, listen," he says, barely words, but he needs to tell them.

The losers gather closer, surrounding Richie and Eddie, the only two still on the floor.

"I'm here, I'm here Eds."

Eddie grabs Richie's hand with the only one he can still move. He doesn't think too hard about that.

"I, I know how to kill It," he says, and manages to gather even more attention than he already had. "When- with the Leper," he coughs, pain shooting hard and fast through his chest, but he continues anyway. "I thought I could win. I made him just a Leper in my mind," he says, willing them to understand. "I believed he was weak," he gets out, his energy spent. Richie is suddenly cradling his head, and the others are moving around him.

He must pass out, as when he blinks his eyes open, everyone but Richie is gone. Richie is still crying, but it's silent now, as if all his energy has already been spent. Eddie aches, looking at his heartbroken face. "Eddie," Richie says, voice hoarse.

"Rich," he says, smiling as best he can. This time, Richie returns it, as shaky as Eddie's hands. "It's... it's gonna be okay," he manages.

"Yeah," Richie says, suddenly sounding desperate, "yeah, of course it is! We're gonna get you out of here!"

Eddie continues to smile, even as he shakes his head. The pain is beginning to fade now. "No, I mean..." he pauses to breathe. He thinks his nose might be broken, because he can't breathe through it. It doesn't really matter, he decides. "I mean, you're gonna be alright. All of you." Distantly, he is aware of fighting and angry screaming. His friends will battle in his memory, and he is okay with that. He lets his eyes slip shut, this time.

"No!" Richie protests, left hand coming up to cradle Eddie's face, lifting his head slightly. Eddie blinks his eyes open, again. "Eddie, you have to be okay! Fuck, Eds, I can't leave here without you!" Richie cries out, voice breaking again and again. Eddie wants to take this pain from him, but he doesn't know how.

Eddie frowns at Richie, his best friend even in the years they didn't know each other. He thinks, what would Richie do?

"Richie, I have to tell you something..." Richie is barely above gaping at him at this point, wrecked sobs leaving his body in faint gasps.. "I..." he pauses once again, catching his fast disappearing breath. "I fucked your mom."

Richie sobs, mostly in frustration, but some of it is laughter. "If you weren't bleeding out I would punch you!" He says, and Eddie suddenly feels bad.

He cradles Richie's face, now, as best he can, returning the gesture. "Sorry," he whispers, but Richie shakes his head.

"It's okay," Richie says, "it's okay, Eddie Spaghetti." He thinks it's supposed to sound soft, or kind, or even just comforting. It doesn't. It sounds like heartbreak and lost years and missed chances. Eddie wants to shove the words back into Richie's mouth where he doesn't have to hear him sound like that anymore. He also can't bear for Richie to stop talking, wants the last thing he hears to be the beautiful man before him, saying his name.

Eddie tries to move forward, but the rock he is sitting against is the only thing keeping him upright at the moment. "Still, sorry." He says, and wishes Richie was just a little closer. He wants to kiss him again, no matter how selfish that thought is. He thinks, if he's dying, he should be allowed to be a little selfish. Just this once. This last time.

"Richie," he says, because he can. Because he might not be able to, soon. "...'chee."

"Yeah, Eds?" Richie whispers back.

"Y'know..." he breathes deeply, and this time his lungs expand fully. There is no more pain in his chest. He almost frowns, at that thought, but realises he has to continue. He can't die, and not let Richie know. "I... I never loved Myra."

Richie nods, "yeah, yeah I know Eds." Richie and Eds share another, small, sad smile.

Eddie nods, feels his eyelids drifting. He fights to keep them open. He needs to say this. "Good," he manages, coughing weakly. It doesn't hurt.

"It's alright, you don't have to speak," Richie says, cradling his face. Eddie can barely feel the contact, wishes he could savour it, if these moments are to be his last. Wishes he could kiss Richie again, properly this time. I'm dying, he thinks again, smiling slightly, I can be a little selfish.

Eddie tries to gather his strength, but he struggles to even keep his eyes open. "Rich, I..." he starts, breathing heavy. Was it always this cold down here?

"Richie Tozier," he says, trying to say it one last time. He can feel his energy leaving him, as he tries to look at Richie's face, his final glance upon this world. "I-..." his breath catches the rest of the words, but he doesn't have the energy to try again. Richie's eyes are wide with horror, but Eddie is still glad they are the last thing he gets to see. He wants to tell him, wants desperately to say the words trapped in his throat, but he can't. Maybe it's for the best, if Richie doesn't know. Save him the pain of losing things he could have had, if only they were braver. He closes his eyes, and with the phantom feeling of lips against his own, he slips away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: injury detail, blood, violence, alien shape shifter clown doing bad things, impalement, implied death.
> 
> You really can't skip much of this if you want to understand the story, but it is about the same level as the movie, maybe a bit less graphic, so bare that in mind.
> 
> I am still sorry but not about leaving you on a cliff hangar. I promise it will be less than eight months before the next chapter.


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